What’s holding you back?
Is it what they did? Is it some failing from years ago? Or is it what somebody said that shook you?
I am a cross between the “name it and claim it” generation and the put-a-root-and-an-evil-eye-on-it people. But somewhere between faith and magic, between action and waiting, there’s something we are doing wrong.
Move That Dang Rock: What’s Really Holding You Back?
This weekend, I found myself in a room with thousands of Black women readers. The ladies had traveled across the country to buy books from Black authors, meet their favorite writers, and celebrate stories that center Black love, Black joy, and Black hope.
It was the second Black Romance Book Fest.
What amazes me most is that this gathering started as the dream of one indie author, Lauren Lacey. She imagined a place that would become a pilgrimage site for readers seeking stories where melanated heroes and heroines got happy endings.
The publishing industry told her it couldn’t be done.
Some said no one would come.
Others suggested this was a pipe dream. Still others questioned if this market existed.
Many stayed quiet, sneering that she’d soon learn that Black readers didn’t matter enough to build something big.
Lauren didn’t listen.
She didn’t waste her energy arguing with people who couldn’t see her vision. She didn’t spend years waiting for permission. She simply started building.
Today, the Black Romance Book Fest is one of the largest gatherings of Black readers in the country. Thousands of readers fill these rooms. Authors sold books. Friendships were formed or renewed. Community became stronger.
All because one person refused to let doubt become destiny.
Now, some people might ask, “Why create something separate? Aren’t there already plenty of book festivals?”
Let me explain it this way.
Have you ever ordered a burger and specifically asked for no onions and no pickles?
The waiter brings out lunch, but the pickle and onions are still there.
You’re hungry, so you try to make it work, ripping off the pickle and onions. The burger is good. The meat is flavorful. The cheese is perfect, but the juice of the pickle, the tang of the onion are still there. Every few bites, you hit a pickle. The taste of onion coats the tongue. You spend the whole meal navigating around something that wasn’t made with you in mind.
That’s what many spaces can feel like.
There are wonderful book events all over the country, and I love attending them. I love meeting all readers. I love introducing people to stories about powerful women and expansive histories.
But at Black Romance Book Fest, I don’t have to navigate around the pickles.
I don’t have to explain myself.
I don’t have to wonder if I belong.
I can simply exist.
I can let my hair down. I code-switch for fun, not survival.
I am fully seen.
And that kind of belonging matters.
One thing I love about the Laurens of the world. They don’t understand the word “impossible.”
Tell them something has never been done, and they immediately start figuring out how to do it.
They challenge systems.
They move fast.
They focus. They win.
Can you focus? Are you so accustomed to disappointment that you can’t imagine success?
Are you frozen by a past failure? Are you haunted by a dream that didn’t work out the first time?
Have you convinced yourself that your best efforts will never be enough?
Are you quietly quitting on yourself?
Maybe you’ve wanted to write a book for years and just couldn’t pull it together.
I meet people all the time who tell me they want to write a book. Then I see them years later, and they still want to write a book.
Wanting is not writing.
One hundred words a day—about ten sentences—creates more than 30,000 words in a year. That’s a novella.
The problem isn’t always talent.
Sometimes the problem is fear, fear wrapped up in perfectionism.
What’s the rock sitting in the middle of your path? What’s the thing you’ve been walking around, staring at, complaining about, but never moved?
Are you waiting for the perfect moment?
Sometimes the problem is us.
In my life, I’ve let fear silence me.
I’ve kept my head down when I should have spoken up. I’ve worried about criticism instead of focusing on purpose.
But there comes a point when you have to rise.
There comes a point when you have to look fear in the eye and move anyway.
And if you fail? At least you failed swinging.
So here are three questions to ask yourself when you’re trying to figure out what’s holding you back.
First: What do I truly want?
· Not what other people want for me.
· Not what looks practical.
· What do I actually want?
Second: What am I afraid of?
· Failure?
· Success?
· Criticism?
· Disappointment?
Name it, but don’t claim it.
Third: What’s one thing I can do today? Just one thing.
Not next year.
Not someday.
Today.
Dreams aren’t built in giant leaps but by daily steps taken. So start, start today.
Along the way, encourage somebody else.
Support people who are trying.
Celebrate effort.
Point out what’s working instead of what’s broken.
The world has enough critics.
What it needs are builders and encouragers.
What it needs are people willing to help move boulders—not just out of their own path, but out of their neighbor’s path too.
Because when readers gather, when artists create, when dreamers build, when communities support one another, those rocks begin to shake. They rattle and fall.
So, I’ll ask you one more time.
What’s holding you back?
Take the time today to name it, then work, work until the rock moves.
This week’s reading list includes:
Year of Yes by Shonda Rhimes — About overcoming fear, embracing opportunities, and saying yes to the life you actually want.
Professional Troublemaker by Luvvie Ajayi Jones — A great guide to speaking up, taking risks, and refusing to be silenced by fear.
On the fiction front:
The Vanishing Half by Brit Bennett — A story of identity, ambition, and the choices we make when pursuing the lives we want, regardless of the cost.
The Other Princess by Denny S. Bryce — A princess challenges a queen’s expectations and follows her heart, risking everything for love and self-determination.
If you’re ready to raise a sword and gain a new destiny, consider purchasing Fire Sword and Sea, my latest release.
Or if you are in need of laughs and inclusivity and to see the real good guys win, preorder or review at NetGalley, and request at your local library, A Deal at Dawn. Step into a cliffhanger, where the Duke of Torrance is dying to finally be a father to his daughter, but he must deal with the girl’s mother, the woman who humbled him and broke his heart.
Get these books from The Book Cellar. They still have a few signed copies of Fire Sword and Sea.
You can also try one of my partners in the fight, bookstores large and small, who are in the trenches with me.
You can find my notes on Substack or on my website, VanessaRiley.com, under the podcast link in the About tab.
Hey. Let’s keep rising and creating together. I need you. Like, share, subscribe, and stay connected to Write of Passage.
Thank you for being here.
I want you to come again. This is Vanessa Riley.
This is a public episode. If you’d like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit vanessariley.substack.com/subscribe
