Holidays are Holy Days

I’m an amateur word nerd.*  So when I see the world “holiday” I can’t help but remember that it came into our language from the phrase “holy day”.

Because, of course, it used to be on the holy days observed by the church that the people were released from their work duties. You can still see this in our own calendars: Sunday is the day we weekly remember the resurrection, and many of us still have it off. Christmas vacation is rooted in the remembrance of Jesus’ birth, and spring break in the celebration of the events of Easter.

Thinking “holy day” when I see “holiday” is a pedantic bit of geekery, I admit it. At least, it is on the surface. But when I look deeper, it gives me a hint about what really makes for a restful holiday or a good vacation.

“I need to get away” – from what? 

We talk about “needing to get away”, and I, for one, certainly do feel like I am escaping when I’m lucky enough to leave the city for the mountains, or my everyday life for a week of kicking back.

But what is it that we really need to get away from? It’s not like everyday life is a horror, for most of us. Our days are busy, sure, but for many of us, they’re filled with good things, with everyday duties like working and housekeeping, caring for kids and feeding ourselves and our families.

It makes me think that maybe I’m asking the wrong question. Instead of asking, “what do I need to get away from?”, I ought to be asking, “what do I need to run towards?”

Sabbath Rest

Work is good, but no one should be always working. It is rest that we are running towards. Resting after labor is so important that it was God himself who set us the example of how to do it.

And rest is not an emptiness, rest is a fullness. It is rest in the presence of God. It is being with, not being without. Even in seemingly run-of-the-mill vacation activities – things like swimming in the ocean or games of catch or long walks on a mountain trail – you can hear echoes of the Edenic rest our first parents enjoyed. In Eden, Adam and Eve walked with God in the cool of the evening. In our vacations today, we still take great joy in being somewhere beautiful in the company of those we love.

And even for introverts like me, when I am alone, I am not alone. The urge for silence and solitude is, really, an urge to be alone with God. To be still in His presence.

This is rest.

Peace of Christ to you,

Jessica Snell 

 

 

* Amateur because the professionals are the ones who have etymological dictionaries. I make due with my precious hardbound edition of the shorter OED.

Originally posted 2012-07-13 10:00:00.

Gunter’s Tea Shop

During the month of July, many of the Regency Reflections posts will focus on traveling, vacationing, and other summer adventures popular during the Regency. I don’t know about you, but one of my favorite traditions about vacationing is finding the local ice cream parlor!

During the Regency Period, if you happened to be in the mood for an ice cream, water ice, or sorbet, you would likely visit Gunter’s Tea Shop, which was located at No. 7-8 Berkeley Square in London’s West End. The confectionary shop, originally named “The Pot and the Pine Apple,” was established in 1757 by Italian pastry cook Domenico Negri. Years later, James Gunter became Negri’s partner before assuming sole proprietorship in 1799.

Gunter’s served a wide variety of extravagant pastries, cakes, and confections, but the establishment was probably most well-known for its frozen indulgences. Treats such as ices, ice cream, mousse and sorbet were available in a variety of textures and flavors. While most of these were served in small dishes or cups, some treats were frozen in pewter molds shaped as fruit, vegetables, and even bread or meat to give them a more dramatic presentation. Sought-after flavors included maple, bergamot, pineapple, pistachio, jasmine, white coffee, chocolate, vanilla, elderflower, Parmesan, and lavender, just to name just a few.

Not only were Gunter’s creations delectable, but the shop was one of London’s places to “see and be seen.” Located across the street from a park of maple trees, it became quite fashionable to enjoy one’s treat out of doors with family and friends. In fact, Gunter’s was one of the very few locations a young lady could be seen alone with a man that was not a relative without being exposed to scandal. Dining in the park became so popular that the shop’s waiters had to venture out to the streets to take orders and deliver food, dodging carriages and horses to do so. Gunter’s continued to be an admired establishment throughout the nineteenth and well into the twentieth century before closing its doors in 1956.

Want to try your hand at making your own Regency ice cream? One of my favorite regency resources is “The Art of Cookery Made Place & Easy,” which was written by Hannah Glass and published in 1796. While I do not know Mr. Gunter’s recipes, Ms. Glass included an ice cream recipe in her book that would have been available during the Regency.

From The Art of Cookery Made Plain and Easy:
“To make Ice Cream:
Pare and stone twelve apricots, and scald them, beat them find in a mortar, add to them six ounces of double-refined sugar, and a pint of sealding cream, and work it through a sieve; put it in a tin with a close cover, and set it in a tub of ice broken small, with four handfuls of salt mixed among the ice; when you see your cream grows thick round the edges of your tin, stir it well, and put it in again till it is quite thick; when the cream is all froze up, take it out of the tin, and put it into the mould you intent to turn it out of; put on the lid, and have another tub of salt and ice ready as before; put the mould in the middle, and lay the ice under and over it; let it stand four hours, and never turn it out till the moment you want it, then dip the mould in cold spring-water, and turn it into a plate. You may do any sort of fruit the same way.”

Enjoy your summer!

Image of Negri Trade Card courtesy of The British Museum.

Originally posted 2012-07-11 10:00:00.

“Passion for Regency Fashion – The Pelisse” Susan Karsten

Blog Post for July 9, 2012

Having a degree in fashion design doesn’t make me an expert on historical fashion, but in my case it added fuel to my lifelong interest in clothing, beauty, and fashion. Beauty queens, Barbie dolls, princesses, and movie stars: all early building blocks of my fashion passion.

The Regency period’s fashions were definitely covered in the History of Fashion course I took in my junior year, but learning Regency fashion details was done on my own, outside of class. I still have much to learn on the topic, for example: what exactly is Pomona green? A color, yes — mentioned in several Regency historical novels, but not yet found in any dictionary I have searched.

I hope to elaborate and enlighten the readers of this blog on the wardrobe item known as the pelisse. What is that? From the context in which it is found, it is pretty obvious that it is a type of coat. But what type? Why does it have a special name and what are the specifics?

Since the dresses were often short-sleeved and light-weight, the pelisse was a necessary and essential item. The pelisse is a coat following the lines of the dress-styles of the day. Ankle-length, with the waist just under the bosom, it was close-fitting, and had closures across the bust or all the way from neck to hem. They were usually elegant and ornamental and their trimmings often matched a particular dress. The sleeves were long and extended over the hand, and could be puffed, or trimmed with fur at the shoulders.

In our day, we don’t have a garment directly correlating to the pelisse, but the closest we see in the current era would be a dressy two-piece outfit of sheath dress and matching evening coat. In future posts, I will be covering Spencers, shawls and reticules and how they related to the lives and wardrobes of Regency ladies. I welcome your requests of fashion-related topics you would like me to address … and if you know what Pomona green is, do let me know.

Originally posted 2012-07-09 10:00:00.

The Magical Mood Lifter

If you’ve read many books set in Regency England then you’ve likely heard of people sea bathing and taking the waters. While there was some indication that drinking the mineral rich waters from Bath or dipping in the sea at Brighton improved health, it was often the removal from everyday life that did as much good as anything.

Sea Bathing painting
"Mermaids At Brighton" by William Heath

Leaving your problems in London or at your country estate while you jaunted off to stroll down the street in front of the Royal Crescent and sip from the therapeutic spring water could improve a mood faster than anything else.

The Benefits of Changing Scenery

Selecting travel destinations

It’s the same reason so many people love vacations. It’s why you have to book your Spring Break hotel room six months in advance if you’re hitting one of the more popular beaches. It’s why travel sites thrive and credit cards offer hotel and airline points.

People have long acknowledged the benefits of changing scenery. Entire businesses have been built on people needing a new perspective on things.

Several years ago, I had a major decision to make. I struggled over it for months. Finally, it was coming down to the wire. I had to make the decision. One night, my husband took care of our daughter and I checked in to the hotel down the street. I was less than five miles from home, but it might have been five states because in that hotel room was nothing from my regular life.

My daughter didn’t cry and wake me up.

The dishes in the sink didn’t mock me for not cleaning them right after dinner.

No harsh buzz emitted from the laundry room informing me that the next load was ready to be folded.

The change of scenery let me spend focused time in prayer and thought so that I could make a decision.

The Difficulties of Getting Away

My husband is a minister and I am a stay at home mom and unpublished writer. Translation: Our work hours are ridiculous and we don’t make a lot of money. That means vacations are really difficult to fit in and afford.

While you may want to take and 30-day cruise across the Atlantic to explore Italy or even just spend a week at the beach, it isn’t always feasible. I dream of one day taking a research vacation to England. Right now, it’s not even in the budget book, but I still dream about it.

That doesn’t mean you can’t get away.

Family Playing in the Park

When we feel overtired and overstressed, we take a trip to my in-laws. It’s one place where we are expected to do virtually nothing. My fabulous mother-in-law takes care of the kids when they wake up so we get to sleep in. We get to take an afternoon to ourselves every trip and go stroll around their small-town main street.

It costs us nothing but gas to get there, and we usually leave feeling rested and refreshed.

We’ve also done staycations, where we change our perspective just by changing our expectations of the day. It doesn’t work quite as well as getting fully away, but it does help. We’ve done local overnights by booking hotels three or four days in advance. You have to be flexible about where you go, but you can get really good deals.

Every year we take a weekend trip with my family as well. Traveling in a group often defrays the cost of the trip. Plus it has the added benefit of allowing you to deepen important relationships on the trip.

The Real Benefit Isn’t In Getting Away

To really reap the benefits, you have to change your perspective. Vacations and changes in scenery are temporary. It’s why we keep taking trips and looking for the next break.

Eyeglasses on the BibleBut it’s possible to bring that serenity and bliss home by allowing God to transform your mind and thinking.

Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is – his good, pleasing, and perfect will. ~ Romans 12:2

When we allow God to form our thoughts, opinions, and desires to His will, we can find peace and tranquility among the chaos of everyday life. Imagine having vacations as a treat, something to enjoy instead of needing them just to maintain your equilibrium.

God can change your vision, making that same old couch, cubicle, or mini-van look like completely new scenery.

 

Photos by FreeDigitalPhotos.net unless otherwise noted.

Originally posted 2012-07-06 10:00:00.

How to Hold a Regency Wedding Ceremony

Vanessa here,

My fellow bloggers just finished a great month of marriage posts, so I thought I’d share one more on the actual ceremony.

How to have a Regency Wedding Ceremony

Prelude to a Wedding

Your hero has asked the heroine to marry him. This could be from the love bubbling in his heart or the flintlock pointed at his back for compromising the lady.

Your hero and heroine (who is of age 21 or has parental consent – the flintlock will take care of that one) must wait for their ceremony:

  1. Three Sundays for the Banns to be published typically in the morning service of the parish to where the ceremony is to take place.
  2. If you hero hales from a separate parish, the banns must be read in both places otherwise the hero and heroine must wait for this to occur and be attested to by each Curate.
  3. In a pinch, they can apply for a special license, but a compromised groom is in no hurry.

The day has come. The couple breezes through the ceremony and the Groom plants a kiss upon her lips. Wrong! Wrong!

The ceremony is quite long and more importantly, there is no, “You may now kiss your bride.”

According to the Church of England Common Book of Prayers, which would have been used for all English weddings performed during the Regency, the ceremony is long and there is no exchanging of rings (only a single ring is given) and no kissing. Therefore, if your Groom kisses the Bride, it is bold and should be written like that, but I digress.

The only touching is what I call the dance of hands. At several points during the ceremony the Groom, the Bride, and the Vicar hold and exchange hands.

Back to the Wedding Ceremony

The wedding is taking place between 8 in the morning and noon in a church. The Bride’s mother won’t allow her to escape, and her father still has his flintlock trained on the Groom.  So let’s begin the ceremony.

The Vicar will open his book, The Book of Common Prayers and say:

DEARLY beloved, we are gathered together here in the sight of God, and in the face of this congregation, to join together this Man and this Woman in holy Matrimony; which is an honourable estate, instituted of God in the time of man’s innocency, signifying unto us the mystical union that is betwixt Christ and his Church; which holy estate Christ adorned and beautified with his presence, and first miracle that he wrought, in Cana of Galilee; and is commended of Saint Paul to be honourable among all men: and therefore is not by any to be enterprised, nor taken in hand, unadvisedly, lightly, or wantonly, to satisfy men’s carnal lusts and appetites, like brute beasts that have no understanding; but reverently, discreetly, advisedly, soberly, and in the fear of God; duly considering the causes for which Matrimony was ordained.

First, it was ordained for the procreation of children, to be brought up in the fear and nurture of the Lord, and to the praise of his holy Name.

Secondly, it was ordained for a remedy against sin, and to avoid fornication; that such persons as have not the gift of continency might marry, and keep themselves undefiled members of Christ’s body.

Thirdly, It was ordained for the mutual society, help, and comfort, that the one ought to have of the other, both in prosperity and adversity. Into which holy estate these two persons present come now to be joined.

Therefore, if any man can show any just cause, why they may not lawfully be joined together, let him now speak, or else hereafter for ever hold his peace.

If the bride’s true love wishes to interrupt with proof that the Groom is married in Scotland, now is the time. Or the Bride’s dead husband can now stagger into the church from his return from the Peninsula War. Ok, these don’t hold with our compromised scenario from above but if someone is going to interject and stop this Regency wedding, now is the time.

No one? Well let’s continue.

 The Vicar will now speak to the Groom and the Bride:

 I REQUIRE and charge you both, as ye will answer at the dreadful day of judgment when the secrets of all hearts shall be disclosed, that if either of you know any impediment, why ye may not be lawfully joined together in Matrimony, ye do now confess it. For be ye well assured, that so many as are coupled together otherwise than God’s Word doth allow are not joined together by God; neither is their Matrimony lawful.

 At which day of Marriage, if any man do allege and declare any impediment, why they may not be coupled together in Matrimony, by God’s Law, or the Laws of this Realm; and will be bound, and sufficient sureties with him, to the parties; or else put in a Caution (to the full value of such charges as the persons to be married do thereby sustain) to prove his allegation: then the solemnization must be deferred, until such time as the truth be tried.

So the Vicar has now given them one last chance to fess up. No one does, so he continues:

Groom’s full name WILT thou have this Woman to thy wedded Wife, to live together after God’s ordinance in the holy estate of Matrimony? Wilt thou love her, comfort her, honour, and keep her in sickness and in health; and, forsaking all other, keep thee only unto her, so long as ye both shall live?

The Groom takes a gulp then answers: I will.

Then the vicar will say to the bride:

Bride’s full name WILT thou have this Man to thy wedded Husband, to live together after God’s ordinance in the holy estate of Matrimony? Wilt thou obey him, and serve him, love, honour, and keep him in sickness and in health; and, forsaking all other, keep thee only unto him, so long as ye both shall live?

The Bride shall answer: I will.  That right ladies, this is the origin of those ‘obey’ words.  So authors don’t modernize and omit those words because you want to show your heroine doesn’t conform.

Then the vicar will ask: Who giveth this Woman to be married to this Man?

  Now starts the dance of the hands:

 The Vicar, receiving the bride at her father’s or friend’s hands, shall cause the groom with his right hand to take the Woman by her right hand, and to say after him as followeth:

I Groom’s full name take thee Bride’s full name to my wedded Wife, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better for worse, for richer for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death us do part, according to God’s holy ordinance; and thereto I plight thee my troth.

Then they loose their hands; and the Woman, with her right hand taking the Man by his right hand, shall likewise say after the Minister,

 I Bride’s full name take thee Groom’s full name to my wedded Husband, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better for worse, for richer for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love, cherish, and to obey, till death us do part, according to God’s holy ordinance; and thereto I give thee my troth.

 Then they again loose their hands; and the Groom shall give unto the Bride a Ring, laying the same upon the book with the accustomed duty to the Vicar and Clerk. And the Vicar, taking the Ring, shall deliver it unto the Groom, to put it upon the fourth finger of the Bride’s left hand. And the Groom holding the Ring there, and taught by the Vicar, shall say:

 WITH this Ring I thee wed, with my Body I thee worship, and with all my worldly Goods I thee endow: In the Name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Ghost. Amen.

Then the Groom will put the Ring upon the fourth finger of the Bride’s left hand, and they shall both kneel down.

 For all writers going into this much detail, don’t forget the kneeling or the ring. An engagement ring was not common back then, but a gift may have been given to signify the betrothal. Anything given before marriage could potential stay with the bride’s family if for some reason, the bride doesn’t live long enough to have children from this union. I’m just saying, since this is a compromised marriage. However, the bride must have a ring for the ceremony. These rings could be made from any metal, even brass.

  Then the Vicar will lead everyone in prayer. No, they are not married yet.

Let us pray. O ETERNAL God, Creator and Preserver of all mankind, Giver of all spiritual grace, the Author of everlasting life; Send thy blessing upon these thy servants, this Man and this Woman, whom we bless in thy Name; that, as Isaac and Rebecca lived faithfully together, so these persons may surely perform and keep the vow and covenant betwixt them made, (whereof this Ring given and received is a token and pledge,) and may ever remain in perfect love and peace together, and live according to thy laws; through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen.

Then the Vicar shall join their right hands together, and say: Those whom God hath joined together let no man put asunder.

Then the vicar shall speak unto the people gathered:

 FORASMUCH as Groom’s full name. and Bride’s full name. have consented together in holy Wedlock, and have witnessed the same before God and this company, and thereto have given and pledged their troth either to other, and have declared the same by giving and receiving of a Ring, and by joining of hands; I pronounce that they be Man and Wife together, In the Name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Ghost. Amen.

Alas, the Regency Bride and Regency Groom are married.

Ok, your groom and bride persevered, but the ceremony is not over.

The Vicar shall add this Blessing:

GOD the Father, God the Son, God the Holy Ghost, bless, preserve, and keep you; the Lord mercifully with his favour look upon you; and so fill you with all spiritual benediction and grace, that ye may so live together in this life, that in the world to come ye may have life everlasting. Amen.

 Then the Vicar will move to the Lord’s Table and shall sing this Psalm 128.

BLESSED are all they that fear the Lord: and walk in his ways.

For thou shalt eat the labour of thine hands: O well is thee, and happy shalt thou be. Thy wife shall be as the fruitful vine: upon the walls of thine house; Thy children like the olive-branches: round about thy table.

Lo, thus shall the man be blessed: that feareth the Lord. The Lord from out of Sion shall so bless thee: that thou shalt see Jerusalem in prosperity all thy life long;

Yea, that thou shalt see thy children’s children: and peace upon Israel.Glory be to the Father, and to the Son: and to the Holy Ghost; As it was in the beginning, is now, and ever shall be: world without end. Amen.

 Your wedding is still not done. The Vicar will now lead everyone through Psalm 67 and additional blessings for procreation. See: http://www.christianregency.com/Research/Regency-Weddings/Marriage.pdf for more.

Amended to add the Register

This is not the couples list of goodies/presents gifted for there new marital status but an important document signed at the end of the ceremony.

My dear friend Nancy has pointed out this important step. (Thank you) The couple, the vicar, and witnesses must  sign the register in the parish after the church wedding. Without this vital step, the long drawn out process is for naught. Without signatory proof (with correct full names), the marriage ceremony may be counted invalid.

Ok, now….

The beleaguered man and wife will leave the church for the wedding breakfast held at a friend’s house. After this long ceremony, they need a good meal.

References

Church of England Common Book of Prayers

http://impulsivehearts.wordpress.com/2011/10/11/a-regency-marriage-primer/

http://www.christianregency.com/Research/Regency-Weddings/Marriage.pdf

Originally posted 2012-07-02 10:00:00.

ERA Doesn’t Matter

Mary here,

When I prayed about writing this devotional, I began to think about marriages in this month of June when weddings abound and new husbands and wives begin their lives together.

I’m going to go out on a limb and say that every author on this site, and all of the readers that love this time period, have, at one time or another, wished they lived in the Regency era. (Of course, I know that had I lived then, I would certainly have been a tenant farmer’s wife at best or a scullery maid at worst; never one of the upper ten thousand!)

But, I can still daydream about reforming a handsome rake and having him declare his undying love for me while staring at me adoringly for the rest of my life. Now, however, my husband has gone a little gray, gained a few pounds around the middle, and almost never wears his top boots or carries his riding crop in the way of my dashing Regency husband.

Although almost all of our books end up with the hero falling hopelessly in love with our heroine; the truth is, in Regency times marriages were more likely arranged by the young couples’ parents, negotiated to combine estates and titles, or because one had to fill the empty coffers of the other. Today, the majority of marriages begin with love and are the sole decision of the two parties; no parents in sight.

In the Regency era, divorce rarely occurred; it was social suicide, and wives had to look the other way if their husbands decided to take an opera dancer as a mistress. Today, the divorce rate has skyrocketed and infidelity seems rampant along with workaholics, alcoholics and spendaholics. Keeping up with the Joneses in material possessions almost puts the Prince Regent to shame!

But if we read God’s Word, we realize men and women have gotten marriage wrong since Adam and Eve and the fall. Their union was shared in the Garden of Eden, walking beside God, Himself. Theirs was the perfect example. Yet after the fall, God still gives us direction on what marriage should be.

Genesis 2:24 – “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.”

Mark 10:9 – “Therefore what God has joined together, let no man separate.”

Ephesians 5:22-23 – “Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is head of the wife, as also Christ is head of the church…”

Ephesians 5:25 – “Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and

Hebrews 13:4 – “Marriage is honorable among all, and the bed undefiled…”

I Peter 3:3-4 – “[Wives] do not let your adornment be merely outward…rather let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the incorruptible beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit.”

I Peter 3:7 – “[Husbands] likewise, dwell with them with understanding, giving honor to the wife…heirs together of the grace of life.”

God’s marriage made husband and wife one, never to separate. He gave us instructions on how to relate to one another, and where to keep our focus. God’s plan is that we never stray from our spouse, ever. And He asks of wives a gentle and quiet spirit while the husbands give us honor and understanding, heirs together.

But we live in a fallen world, and none of us can keep that blueprint for a perfect union all the time. So we see that while the grass always looks greener on the other side, our Regency counterparts didn’t have it any more together than we do today.

But I am thankful that God gave us that blueprint and His forgiveness when go outside those lines. And I think I will go give my far-from-Regency husband a hug!

Originally posted 2012-06-29 10:00:00.

“How to Maintain a Flourishing Husband”

When I was about to be married, the women of my church threw me a shower, at which each of them gave me a favorite recipe to put in a cookbook for our new home. And though I still use Marion’s directions for teriyaki chicken, and though Sandy’s roasted veggies are still a favorite at our house, the real treasure in that cookbook isn’t the recipes. It’s the marriage advice each woman wrote down alongside her recipe.

Since this June has been all about marriage here at Regency Reflections, I thought I’d pass on the best of that advice – the advice that’s proved the most true in this first decade of my marriage. And since it comes from a woman who’s currently in the middle of her fourth decade of marriage – my mom, Betsy Barber – you can trust that it has more wisdom than anything I could come up with out of my short experience.

So, here they are, the words I see every time I turn to my mother’s recipe for the perfect pie crust:

 For those of you who haven’t had thirty years practice interpreting my mom’s handwriting, here’s what it says:

1. Constant prayer

2. Frequent, joyful sex

3. Regular time spent together

4. Continual forgiveness, continual repentance.

5. Conscious support of his career and hobbies

6. Encourage 10X more often than any critique.

And there at the bottom, added in after the original composition, is my favorite part: “Remember – if it’s good for Adam, it is good for you.”

That’s the part that I hadn’t read anywhere else in my marriage prep, and it’s the part I still wish more people talked about when they talk to married couples: since you’re one flesh, what’s good for one of you – what builds one up, what encourages one, what heartens one – benefits the other. Anything that helps my husband helps me. If something makes him a better Christian, if anything gives him joy, if anything delights his heart, it’s to my benefit that he has it, because it means I’ll be married to a better, happier, godlier man.

And the same is true the other way around. If something encourages me, if something builds me up, it’s to Adam’s benefit to see that I get it, because then he enjoys a marriage to a happier, healthier, godlier wife.

I could go on about the other points on that list, but this blog entry is supposed to be kept at a reasonable length. Suffice it to say: all the points on that list are good . . . especially the second one. 😉

Question for You:

What’s your best piece of advice for a new bride?

Peace of Christ to you,

Jessica Snell

Originally posted 2012-06-27 10:00:00.

An Alternative Elopement

Wanting to spare the heroine from an arranged marriage to an ogre, the hero suggests that he marries her and they elope. The heroine agrees, since she has had a tendre for the hero since she was a schoolgirl. Unfortunately, the 1754 Hardwick Marriage Act has stiffened the laws of marriage. The heroine hasn’t yet reached her majority and they can’t take the time to obtain a special license in London. Waiting for the banns to be called is out of the question, as that will take three weeks and the parents and ogre suitor will catch up with them long before then, even if they can obtain parental permission for the under age—under twenty-one—heroine. Their only alternative is to elope to Gretna Green in Scotland.

Unfortunately again, Scotland is close to four hundred miles away. They must hire a post chase or go on horseback and, because the journey will likely take more than a week to accomplish, they will have to stay overnight before they are married, unacceptable to these two proper—other than eloping—young people. The situation appears hopeless.

Except it isn’t. The hero has some friends amongst the fishermen who have told him about carrying an eloping couple to an alternative marriage location.

Eloping in Style

In approximately fifteen hours of sailing,
the eloping couple can reach one of the Channel Islands, mainly the Island of Guernsey. Evidence presents us with the knowledge that boats waited at Southampton, Hampshire, to carry eloping couples across the channel. Logic says Plymouth, Falmouth, and a few other southern ports just might have provided the same service.

Guernsey is closer to France than England. Although it belongs to England, many of the laws differ from those of England. The marriage laws are one of those even today.

So many couples eloped to Guernsey that tracking the history of residents of the island has proven difficult, for distinguishing those who simply arrived in St. Peter Port to get married in haste, from those who lived on the island and married in the same parish, isn’t easy two hundred years later. Genealogists have focused on whether or not couples later baptized their children in that same parish in order to trace ancestry to Guernsey.

Nowadays, one does not need a license to marry in a Church of England ceremony on Guernsey. One does need a license for a civil ceremony on Guernsey.

So if your couple finds themselves hundreds of miles from Gretna Green, they can hop onto a fishing boat, or perhaps the hero’s yacht, and sail across the Narrow Sea to a channel island. First, however, he might wish to ensure that the heroine doesn’t get seasick on the way.

Laurie Alice Eakes

Originally posted 2012-06-25 06:00:00.

Real Life Romance–And How to Keep it Alive

Hi everyone, Naomi here today, talking about real-life love, and ready to have some fun with it!

So often in romance novels, especially Regency romances, a couple is thrust together and sometimes even forced to marry due to circumstances beyond their control. In fact, I’m finishing a novel now where indeed, the hero and heroine are caught together in an unbecoming manner, and you guessed it: there’s wedding bells ringing by halfway through the story. It doesn’t matter that they’re not in love and didn’t want to marry, by the end of the book they’ll be head-over-heels for one another.

But that’s one of the wonderful things about fiction: everything always works out in the end.

If only real life always turned out so well. Unfortunately our lives seem to go the exact opposite direction from those of our romance novel counterparts. In society today, we meet, fall in love, get married, and then fall out of love and get unmarried in almost less time than we spend on the love and wedding stuff. No one forces us to marry because we get caught kissing or sneaking off to enjoy a few private moments of conversation. Yet how does our divorce rate compare to that of Regency England?

Yikes! Probably better not look to closely at that one. So amidst this month of June with all its wedding bells and happily-ever-afters. Let’s take a quick look at three principles that can help keep romance alive in our real-life marriages.

1. Spend time together. You might think this one rather obvious. After all, at one point, you and your hubby spent a whole lot of time together . . . back when he was your future hubby or first dating you. But somehow, as the years pass, you each become busy with different things. Working, raising kids, buying a house, making improvements to the house, carting your kids to soccer and ballet, and the list goes on. Yet it’s still important that you spend time together. Hire a babysitter for one night a month. Or feed your kids hotdogs and put them to bed early once every couple weeks. Then make (or buy, if you’re me) a nice dinner for your husband.

2. Pay attention. Every woman wants to feel that her husband loves her. But on the flip side, women also need to ask themselves whether they make their husbands feel loved. Do you know when he has a bad day at work or a mountain of chores to do at home? Or do you let him live his own life until you need something from him? One of the easiest ways to pay attention is to greet him when he gets home. Whether he’s been at work or running errands, put down the phone, spatula or laundry basket, and call your kids away from their toys or the TV to greet their dad. If you make your man feel like he’s important to you, I’m betting he’ll reciprocate and show his wonderful wife how important she is to him.

3. Say thank you. Having a general attitude of gratefulness toward the man you married can do miracles for your relationship. Of course you’re grateful that he pays some (or all) of the bills and takes the trash out on trash night. But do you tell him “thank you” or simply take for granted that he’ll work endless hours?

Now let’s take the situation a step farther. Regardless of how wonderful a wife you are, there will always be those busy times when you ask for help with sweeping or putting the kids to bed or doing the dishes or any other number of household tasks. When your husband takes time out of his busy schedule to help you, do you thank him? Or do you look at the kitchen floor, see a dog hair in the corner, and tell him he didn’t do a good enough job sweeping? Try to be grateful for the effort your husband puts into helping rather than pick out his imperfections.

So there you have it. Three simple ideas. None of them are dramatic or life altering, but if you work hard at loving your husband, you might just might find real life turning out as wonderful as the lives of all those romance novel heroines.

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A mother of two young boys, Naomi Rawlings spends her days picking up, cleaning, playing and, of course, writing. Her husband pastors a small church in Michigan’s rugged Upper Peninsula, where her family shares its ten wooded acres with black bears, wolves, coyotes, deer and bald eagles. Naomi and her family live only three miles from Lake Superior, where the scenery is beautiful and they average 200 inches of snow per winter. Naomi writes bold, dramatic stories containing passionate words and powerful journeys. Her debut novel, Sanctuary for a Lady, released in April of 2012. For more information about Naomi and her writing, visit www.naomirawlings.com

Originally posted 2012-06-22 10:00:00.

On Courtship

Authoress Amelia Opie

Whoever thinks romance and love matches didn’t exist before the 20th century ignores a lot of evidence to the contrary. If women of all strata of society from seamstresses to young ladies of the ton read novels which featured heroines pitted against alluring yet somewhat menacing men, where virtue and love triumphed in the end, this means they must have had a desire for romance. They not only took to reading but to writing novels themselves. Selina Davenport’s 1824 novel Preference, is a typical romance with a properly happy ending. She wrote 11 novels between 1814-1832. Other female authors of the period besides Jane Austen who wrote about love triumphing were Amelia Opie, Maria Edgeworth, and sisters Anna Maria and Jane Porter.

The evangelical writer Hannah More wrote, “Is a woman in low spirits? Let her console herself by writing a novel. Is she ill? Bored? Unhappily situated? Let her pour it all out into a novel.”* Do I detect a little sarcasm?

 

Almack's

Despite a young woman’s yearnings for love and romance, the regency period was governed by rules of etiquette. Numerous books were written to young men and women on the subject of how to behave in public—especially with the opposite sex. After the licentiousness of the Georgian era, the Regency period saw a rise of Evangelicalism, which stressed that women were the arbiters of morality, and it was part of their duty to make sure they didn’t tempt men, or fall victims to men’s baser instincts. Whereas in high society it was common for a man to have a mistress, an unmarried young lady must keep herself chaste and above any appearance of misbehavior. On the Marriage Mart, a woman’s purity was her highest asset.

For this reason courtship for a young lady meant being chaperoned whenever she went out (and, of course, never receiving a gentleman caller on her own). A gentleman had to ask for an introduction to meet a young lady he was interested in. After her official coming out into society, a young lady enjoyed the grown-up entertainments of balls, assemblies, concerts and other musical events, all to see and be seen. But everything was done in public. A young lady could never be alone with a young man who was not a family member or otherwise closely associated with the family.

Although parents desired a “suitable match” for their children, this did not mean strictly arranged marriages—for the most part. There is ample evidence in novels and correspondence of marriages based on love and mutual respect.

Princess and Prince at the opera National Portrait Gallery London

The most important love match of the era was that of the Prince Regent’s daughter Charlotte to a minor German prince, Leopold of Saxe-Coburg-Saalfeld. Even though her father and the British government had been negotiating her marriage to Prince William of Orange (the future king of the Netherlands), Princess Charlotte met young Leopold in the Czar’s entourage when the czar and his sister came to London during the summer of 1814. Eventually, the princess broke off her official engagement to the Dutch royal prince, causing all kinds of diplomatic furor and married her German prince on May 2, 1816, to the enthusiasm of the British people. They understood a love match. From all accounts it was a happy—though brief—marriage, since she died shortly after giving birth to their first child after only a year of marital bliss.

Matchmaking as shown in Emma also shows that romance was alive and well in the regency era. Jane Austen wrote, “Anything is to be preferred or endured, rather than marrying without Affection.”

Vauxhall Gardens

 

 

* Our Tempestuous Day by Carolly Erickson, William Morrow and Co., 1986, New York

Originally posted 2012-06-18 05:00:00.