Tammy here.

What is real romance? Is it roses and chocolates, Diamonds and furs? Does the more money he spends on you measure how much he loves you? 

I remember back in the beginning of my marriage I just wanted my husband to give me thoughtful gifts. He hated buying for me because he didn’t think he could please me. He couldn’t understand I only wanted him to put some thought in the selection. I love to give gifts. Buying just the right gift for my family and friends is a joy for me. For others like my husband it is a hated chore.

I told my husband more than once Roses are nice but it would mean more to me if you picked me wild flowers. I spent a lot of frustrated years trying to get him to understand it’s not the gift, it’s the thought behind it.

In the early days of our marriage Western clothes and accessories were in. (Dating myself here). We had just left a western store filled with beautiful clothes and jewelry. He was complaining about not knowing what to get me for Christmas. I told him, “Anything you pick out for me in this store I will love.” Can you see my mistake? I couldn’t wait for Christmas. Imagine my surprise when I opened the box with the western store’s logo and found, not a long flowing white skirt to wear with my boots or a set of silver earrings with a bracelet to match, but a belt buckle with my initial on it. I tried not to let him see my disappointment because I didn’t want to hurt his feelings. I am sure you all have similar stories.

I am happy to say it only took twenty years to finally make him understand. For years I got roses for Valentine’s Day or my Birthday. They were nice, but where’s the thought in that?  Then one year in October on my birthday I came home from work to find Black Eyed Susan petals (my very own special birthday flowers from God every year) scattered in a path from my front door to the kitchen table leading to a mason jar filled with a bouquet of the yellow flowers. It didn’t matter I had to clean up the twigs and leaves scattered over the floor. It was the best birthday ever and he was so proud of himself.

For Christmas that year he stayed on a roll. He bought me a sleeping bag. Don’t laugh. It was neon green, my favorite color. So far that is the best Christmas gift I’ve received from him. He has bought me diamonds and roses and many other expensive gifts over the years and I do love them but the most romantic memories will always be of scattered petals and a bright green sleeping bag, because he finally stepped out of his comfort zone and thought to himself, I think she’ll like this.

Images courtesy of morguefile.com. No attribution required. 

Originally posted 2012-02-15 10:00:00.

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