{"id":6415,"date":"2026-07-07T09:20:57","date_gmt":"2026-07-07T13:20:57","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/vanessariley.com\/blog\/2026\/07\/07\/write-of-passage-making-sure-they-get-home\/"},"modified":"2026-07-07T09:20:57","modified_gmt":"2026-07-07T13:20:57","slug":"write-of-passage-making-sure-they-get-home","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/vanessariley.com\/blog\/2026\/07\/07\/write-of-passage-making-sure-they-get-home\/","title":{"rendered":"Write of Passage: Making Sure They Get Home"},"content":{"rendered":"<audio class=\"wp-audio-shortcode\" id=\"audio-6415-1\" preload=\"none\" style=\"width: 100%;\" controls=\"controls\"><source type=\"audio\/mpeg\" src=\"https:\/\/api.substack.com\/feed\/podcast\/205716251\/77e179c3ba97027de865c10a673374ee.mp3?_=1\" \/><a href=\"https:\/\/api.substack.com\/feed\/podcast\/205716251\/77e179c3ba97027de865c10a673374ee.mp3\">https:\/\/api.substack.com\/feed\/podcast\/205716251\/77e179c3ba97027de865c10a673374ee.mp3<\/a><\/audio>\n<p><strong>I don\u2019t think Southern hospitality is just about sweet tea. I think it\u2019s making sure everyone has a good time and gets home alive.<\/strong><\/p><div id=\"vanes-640378917\" class=\"vanes-content vanes-entity-placement\" style=\"margin-top: 2px;margin-right: 2px;margin-bottom: 2px;margin-left: 2px;\"><a href=\"https:\/\/vanessariley.com\/fireswordandsea.htm\" aria-label=\"Fire Sword &amp; Sea\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/vanessariley.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/05\/FireSwordSea_HC-scaled.jpg?fit=1706%2C2560&#038;ssl=1\" alt=\"Fire Sword &amp; Sea\"  srcset=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/vanessariley.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/05\/FireSwordSea_HC-scaled.jpg?w=1706&ssl=1 1706w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/vanessariley.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/05\/FireSwordSea_HC-scaled.jpg?resize=200%2C300&ssl=1 200w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/vanessariley.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/05\/FireSwordSea_HC-scaled.jpg?resize=683%2C1024&ssl=1 683w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/vanessariley.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/05\/FireSwordSea_HC-scaled.jpg?resize=768%2C1152&ssl=1 768w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/vanessariley.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/05\/FireSwordSea_HC-scaled.jpg?resize=1024%2C1536&ssl=1 1024w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/vanessariley.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/05\/FireSwordSea_HC-scaled.jpg?resize=1365%2C2048&ssl=1 1365w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/vanessariley.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/05\/FireSwordSea_HC-scaled.jpg?w=1280&ssl=1 1280w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 640px) 100vw, 640px\" width=\"569\" height=\"853\"   \/><\/a><\/div>\n<p>Southern hospitality is supposed to mean something.<\/p>\n<p>Growing up, the Fourth of July meant my mother\u2019s barbecue. It wasn\u2019t just dinner. It became the neighborhood gathering, the family reunion you didn\u2019t know you were having. Friends drifted in. A few cousins or uncles might show. No one brought anything because even Mama had already made it with at least three different options. You came because my mother cooked, and everyone knew that meant you were going to leave full, laughing. You were going to have a good time.<\/p>\n<p>That was Southern hospitality on a 4th of July Weekend. It was exciting, even before the fireworks.<\/p>\n<p>But this Fourth of July felt different.<\/p>\n<p>I don\u2019t know many people who gathered with neighbors. Most stayed home. Even the celebrations in Washington, D.C. looked very quiet, quieter than I expected for America\u2019s 250th birthday. Across the country, storms interrupted festivities, forcing some families to seek shelter\u2014even inside the African American History Museum. Others didn\u2019t feel the hospitality as they rode on buses with White Supremacists and Reuters photographers. I\u2019d like to think that the photographers would\u2019ve been neighborly and helped out, but they had a duty, I suppose, to capture the mask-wearing marchers.<\/p>\n<p>Sometimes hospitality means making a safe environment. No one should be fearful on the 4th of July.<\/p>\n<p>Again. This 4th felt different.<\/p>\n<p>No amount of BBQ or sweet tea can make up for fear or anguish. What happened to checking on your neighbors, making sure everyone has a ride, or that they make it home to call their mother?<\/p>\n<p>I thought about how my mother always wanted to know where I was, who I was with, and who the adults were. At the time, it felt overprotective.<\/p>\n<p>Now it feels like another expression of hospitality.<\/p>\n<p>Real hospitality isn\u2019t simply welcoming people in.<\/p>\n<p>It\u2019s making sure they get home.<\/p>\n<p>There are families who will never forget this holiday weekend because someone they loved didn\u2019t make it home.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n<p>My heart especially goes out to the family of Nolan Wells, a young Black man who went to celebrate with friends and never came home. Amid the unimaginable grief, his mother publicly thanked the volunteers, the United Cajun Navy, local law enforcement, and neighbors who searched alongside her.<\/p>\n<p>That, too, is Southern hospitality, showing up when someone else is hurting.<\/p>\n<p>On Sunday, the 5th, I had the opportunity to be hospitable to my readers at a release party to celebrate the of <em>A Deal at Dawn<\/em>. I<\/p>\n<p>I held a tea party.<\/p>\n<p>What better way to celebrate a Regency romance?<\/p>\n<p>Picture tablecloths, teacups, ceramic platters, cookies, flowers, and just enough balloons to make a corner of Barnes &amp; Noble feel less like a bookstore and more like someone\u2019s parlor. We were tucked into the music section, and honestly, what could be more neighborly than books and music sharing the same space?<\/p>\n<p>Of course, I have a terrible habit of never doing anything halfway.<\/p>\n<p>I love to cook. Left to my own devices, every gathering becomes a catered affair. But Barnes &amp; Noble has a caf\u00e9, which meant there were limits on bringing in outside food.<\/p>\n<p>Reality met Southern determination.<\/p>\n<p>I had to get creative.<\/p>\n<p>Normally, my backup plan is Cheryl\u2019s Cookies. I always keep a stash in the freezer for emergencies. They\u2019re delicious, dependable, and have rescued me on more than one gathering.<\/p>\n<p>But this wasn\u2019t an emergency.<\/p>\n<p>This was a celebration.<\/p>\n<p>I kept thinking about the afternoon my daughter and I spent at the Russian Tea Room in New York. The tiny pastries. The beautiful presentation. The sense that every bite had been chosen with care.<\/p>\n<p>If I couldn\u2019t recreate that menu, I could recreate the feeling.<\/p>\n<p>Every Southern tea needs cake.<\/p>\n<p>So I invented tea cake cupcakes.<\/p>\n<p>The recipe grew out of the world of <em>A Deal at Dawn<\/em>. While writing the novel, I kept returning to preserved fruits and candies. In eighteenth-century Saint Petersburg, oranges were rare luxuries. When people had them, they treasured them, preserving every bit they could in marmalades and jams.<\/p>\n<p>That became my inspiration.<\/p>\n<p>I took my favorite pound cake recipe, whipped the butter until it was impossibly light, folded in rich orange marmalade, and added buttermilk because Southern baking practically demands it. The result tasted like sunshine tucked inside a cupcake.<\/p>\n<p>Maybe it was over the top.<\/p>\n<p>But it was neighborly.<\/p>\n<p>That\u2019s what Southern cooks do.<\/p>\n<p>I get it from my mother.<\/p>\n<p>I get it from the soil and the air that she raised me in.<\/p>\n<p>I want to feed people.<\/p>\n<p>I want them to slow down.<\/p>\n<p>I want them to feel safe.<\/p>\n<p>I want them to feel seen.<\/p>\n<p>As joyful as Sunday was, the weekend as whole kept reminding me why those things matter. I\u2019m often asked which book signing has been my favorite. Every signing is my favorite.<\/p>\n<p>Whether one person comes or a hundred, someone has carved out space in their day to spend time with me and my stories. They\u2019ve read my books, shared them with friends, recommended them to libraries, and welcomed my characters into their lives.<\/p>\n<p>That\u2019s hospitality, too. The best kind.<\/p>\n<p>So thank you to everyone who joined me for tea, who picked up <em>A Deal at Dawn<\/em>, who recommended it to a friend or a book club, or who simply stopped by to say hello.<\/p>\n<p>Southern hospitality isn\u2019t just about the food. It\u2019s the vibe and feeling safe. It\u2019s about making people feel nurtured and nourished\u2014in body, in spirit, and in hope. And that they make it home alive.<\/p>\n<p>This week\u2019s book list includes:<\/p>\n<p><a target=\"_blank\" href=\"https:\/\/eagleeyebooks.com\/book\/9780062379276\"><strong>The Cooking Gene<\/strong><\/a> by Michael W. TwittyA remarkable exploration of Southern food, family, ancestry, and the complicated history behind what ends up on our tables.<\/p>\n<p><a target=\"_blank\" href=\"https:\/\/eagleeyebooks.com\/book\/9781608194506\"><strong>High on the Hog<\/strong><\/a> by Jessica B. HarrisPart history, part celebration, this book traces the influence of African American cooks and traditions on American cuisine. The TV documentary of the same title, adapted by Stephen Satterfield, expands on Harris\u2019s research by traveling to locations in West Africa and the United States to explore how African culinary traditions have shaped American food.<\/p>\n<p><a target=\"_blank\" href=\"https:\/\/eagleeyebooks.com\/book\/9780593816936\"><strong>An Infinite Love Story<\/strong><\/a> by Chanel ClaytonI hope you\u2019ll join me tonight, July 7, at Eagle Eye Book Shop in Decatur, Georgia, where I\u2019ll be in conversation with my friend Chanel Clayton to celebrate the release of her stunning new novel.<\/p>\n<p>This page-turner follows Vivian Mitchell, the wife of an astronaut, as she navigates the uncertainty and anxiety of waiting for her husband to return home from what is supposed to be his final mission. It\u2019s a moving story about love, resilience, and hope. Since she\u2019s visiting Georgia, let\u2019s show her some Southern hospitality\u2014the good kind.<\/p>\n<p><a target=\"_blank\" href=\"https:\/\/eagleeyebooks.com\/book\/9781420154870\"><strong>A Deal at Dawn<\/strong><\/a><strong> by Vanessa Riley<\/strong> \u2014 Jahleel and Katherine embrace devastating, unexpected turns, make difficult choices, and discover that the life they need is nothing they planned for.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Get these books from <\/strong><a target=\"_blank\" href=\"https:\/\/eagleeyebooks.com\/book\/\"><strong>Eagle Eye Book Shop<\/strong><\/a><strong>. They still have a few signed copies of Fire Sword and Sea.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>You can also try one of my partners in the fight<\/strong><a target=\"_blank\" href=\"https:\/\/vanessariley.com\/fireswordandsea.htm\"><strong>, bookstores<\/strong><\/a><strong> large and small, who are in the trenches with me.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>You can find my notes on Substack or on my website, <\/strong><a target=\"_blank\" href=\"https:\/\/www.vanessariley.com\/\"><strong>VanessaRiley.com<\/strong><\/a><strong>, under the podcast link in the About tab.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>Let\u2019s keep rising and creating together. I need you. Like, share, subscribe, and stay connected to <\/strong><strong><em>Write of Passage<\/em><\/strong><strong>.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>It\u2019s the neighborly thing to do. <strong>Thank you for being here.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>I want you to come again. This is Vanessa Riley.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>This is a public episode. If you&#8217;d like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit <a href=\"https:\/\/vanessariley.substack.com\/subscribe?utm_medium=podcast&amp;utm_campaign=CTA_2\">vanessariley.substack.com\/subscribe<\/a><\/p>\n<div id=\"vanes-3377473183\" class=\"vanes-after-content vanes-entity-placement\" style=\"margin-top: 3px;margin-right: 3px;margin-bottom: 3px;margin-left: 3px;\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/vanessariley.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/05\/SubstackAd.png?fit=1080%2C1350&#038;ssl=1\" alt=\"Listen to the Write of Passage Weekly Podcast\"  srcset=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/vanessariley.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/05\/SubstackAd.png?w=1080&ssl=1 1080w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/vanessariley.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/05\/SubstackAd.png?resize=240%2C300&ssl=1 240w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/vanessariley.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/05\/SubstackAd.png?resize=819%2C1024&ssl=1 819w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/vanessariley.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/05\/SubstackAd.png?resize=768%2C960&ssl=1 768w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 640px) 100vw, 640px\" width=\"540\" height=\"675\"   \/><\/div>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>I don\u2019t think Southern hospitality is just about sweet tea. I think it\u2019s making sure everyone has a good time and gets home alive. Southern hospitality is supposed to mean something. Growing up, the Fourth of July meant my mother\u2019s barbecue. It wasn\u2019t just dinner. It became the neighborhood gathering, the family reunion you didn\u2019t [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":6416,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[81,793,9,620,756,694],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-6415","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-personal-stories","category-politics","category-recommended-reading","category-syndication","category-technology","category-tv-and-film"],"aioseo_notices":[],"aioseo_head":"\n\t\t<!-- All in One SEO 4.9.9 - aioseo.com -->\n\t<meta name=\"description\" content=\"I don\u2019t think Southern hospitality is just about sweet tea. 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