{"id":6409,"date":"2026-06-23T09:28:00","date_gmt":"2026-06-23T13:28:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/vanessariley.com\/blog\/2026\/06\/23\/write-of-passage-three-lessons-about-joy-and-messes\/"},"modified":"2026-06-23T09:28:00","modified_gmt":"2026-06-23T13:28:00","slug":"write-of-passage-three-lessons-about-joy-and-messes","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/vanessariley.com\/blog\/2026\/06\/23\/write-of-passage-three-lessons-about-joy-and-messes\/","title":{"rendered":"Write of Passage: Three Lessons About Joy and Messes"},"content":{"rendered":"<audio class=\"wp-audio-shortcode\" id=\"audio-6409-1\" preload=\"none\" style=\"width: 100%;\" controls=\"controls\"><source type=\"audio\/mpeg\" src=\"https:\/\/api.substack.com\/feed\/podcast\/203202757\/03367dbfa1530fe29ee4e8711df9cfc8.mp3?_=1\" \/><a href=\"https:\/\/api.substack.com\/feed\/podcast\/203202757\/03367dbfa1530fe29ee4e8711df9cfc8.mp3\">https:\/\/api.substack.com\/feed\/podcast\/203202757\/03367dbfa1530fe29ee4e8711df9cfc8.mp3<\/a><\/audio>\n<p>What if the best thing that happened to you this week was the thing you didn\u2019t want?<\/p><div id=\"vanes-1418514510\" class=\"vanes-content vanes-entity-placement\" style=\"margin-top: 2px;margin-right: 2px;margin-bottom: 2px;margin-left: 2px;\"><a href=\"https:\/\/vanessariley.com\/fireswordandsea.htm\" aria-label=\"Fire Sword &amp; Sea\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/vanessariley.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/05\/FireSwordSea_HC-scaled.jpg?fit=1706%2C2560&#038;ssl=1\" alt=\"Fire Sword &amp; Sea\"  srcset=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/vanessariley.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/05\/FireSwordSea_HC-scaled.jpg?w=1706&ssl=1 1706w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/vanessariley.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/05\/FireSwordSea_HC-scaled.jpg?resize=200%2C300&ssl=1 200w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/vanessariley.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/05\/FireSwordSea_HC-scaled.jpg?resize=683%2C1024&ssl=1 683w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/vanessariley.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/05\/FireSwordSea_HC-scaled.jpg?resize=768%2C1152&ssl=1 768w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/vanessariley.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/05\/FireSwordSea_HC-scaled.jpg?resize=1024%2C1536&ssl=1 1024w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/vanessariley.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/05\/FireSwordSea_HC-scaled.jpg?resize=1365%2C2048&ssl=1 1365w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/vanessariley.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/05\/FireSwordSea_HC-scaled.jpg?w=1280&ssl=1 1280w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 640px) 100vw, 640px\" width=\"569\" height=\"853\"   \/><\/a><\/div>\n<p>A canceled flight. A collapsed bookcase. An unexpected lesson about time. Today, I\u2019m sharing three lessons about joy, messes, and the surprising gifts hidden inside life\u2019s interruptions.<\/p>\n<p>Three Lessons About Joy and Messes<\/p>\n<p><strong>Three things happened within roughly the same stretch of time.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>The first was an incredible weekend in Nantucket with my daughter. It was the ultimate girls\u2019 trip\u2014great food, great company, wonderful conversations, and the chance to explore museums, historical sites, and a place filled with stories. We laughed, wandered, and simply enjoyed being together. It was intentional time. Planned time. Chosen time.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>The second thing was completely unexpected.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>Mr. Weather decided we weren\u2019t leaving when we thought we would. A canceled flight forced us to stay overnight, which led us to spend a day at the TWA Hotel at JFK Airport. And honestly? It was magical.<\/strong><\/p>\n<\/p>\n<p><strong>Expensive, yes\u2014but magical.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>We wandered through the restored 1960s hair salon, explored the airplane turned cocktail lounge, and admired the sweeping curves of the architecture. The rounded concrete forms and futuristic design made it feel as if we had stepped back into another era. Watching my daughter\u2019s eyes light up was perhaps the best part. As a budding architect, she noticed every detail, every design choice, every intentional curve and angle. What could have been an inconvenience became an adventure.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>And then there was the third thing.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>A bookcase that had been warning me for months that it was in trouble finally gave up the fight. It crashed. Spectacularly.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>Books everywhere.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>Hundreds of them.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>The floor disappeared beneath a sea of hardcovers, paperbacks, research materials, and treasures collected over years.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>Unlike Nantucket, this wasn\u2019t something I wanted to do.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>Unlike the weather delay, it wasn\u2019t unexpected.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>It was something I knew needed attention and chose to ignore.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>The pile demanded my time.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>Now what do all three experiences have in common.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>Time.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>One was time I deliberately chose.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>One was time unexpectedly given.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>And one was time owed but thought the problem could wait.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>Life is always moving forward, and sometimes we get to decide exactly how we\u2019ll spend our time. Other times, circumstances decide for us. Some things arrive as gifts. Some arrive as burdens. And then we get those as warnings of a future time sink that we ignore.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>But what if we approached all of it with the same attitude?<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>What if every moment became an opportunity for exploration?<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>What can we learn?<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>What can we share?<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>What joy can come from it?<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>Finding joy in Nantucket wasn\u2019t difficult. Being with my daughter was a joy. Every conversation, every laugh, every walk through a museum or hanging with other writers reminded me how precious shared experiences can be.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>Finding joy in an unexpected airport hotel stay wasn\u2019t difficult either. Adventure often hides inside inconvenience if we\u2019re willing to look for it.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>The fallen bookcase, however, required a different kind of joy.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>Because when I looked at that mess, I realized I had choices.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>I could pile the books in a corner and move on.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>Or I could use the moment as an opportunity.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>Maybe it\u2019s time to redesign my office.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>Maybe it\u2019s time to give everything a permanent home.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>Maybe it\u2019s time to display the objects that inspire me every day when I sit down to work.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>And what about that desk?<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>It\u2019s too big.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>It\u2019s cluttered.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>It\u2019s become claustrophobic.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>Maybe it\u2019s time for that to go too.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>My workspace should reflect who I\u2019ve become.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>Writing is not a hobby for me.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>For some people, it may be. But for me, it\u2019s work. It\u2019s my livelihood. It\u2019s bread and butter. Its purpose and profession wrapped together.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>My office should reflect the writer I\u2019ve become, not the writer I used to be.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>That means making hard choices.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>Some books will stay.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>The research books? They\u2019re never leaving. Those are tools of the trade. They need to be dusted, organized, protected, and placed where I can easily access them.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>But do I need multiple copies of the same book?<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>Probably not.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>Some of my collection will find new homes in Little Free Libraries across Atlanta, where they\u2019ll continue their journey with new readers.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>Collectors understand this struggle. We love our treasures. But sometimes holding on to everything prevents us from making room for what\u2019s next.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>And that\u2019s really the lesson.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>Somewhere between the planned retreat, the canceled flight, and the collapsed bookcase, I found a reminder that peace isn\u2019t found only in perfect circumstances.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>Sometimes peace is released in how we respond.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>There\u2019s wisdom hidden in delays.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>And we should find gratitude in survivable messes.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>Life is made up of choices.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>The expected and unexpected.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>The joyful and the inconvenient.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>The burdensome and the beautiful.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>Every moment asks something of us. The question is whether we are listening.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>This week\u2019s book list:<\/p>\n<\/p>\n<p><a target=\"_blank\" href=\"https:\/\/bookshop.org\/a\/82500\/9780525559498\">The Midnight Library<\/a> by Matt Haig<\/p>\n<p>A beautiful meditation on choices, alternate paths, regret, and learning to appreciate the life you\u2019re actually living.<\/p>\n<p><a target=\"_blank\" href=\"https:\/\/bookshop.org\/a\/82500\/9781616204518\">The Storied Life of A.J. Fikry<\/a> by Gabrielle Zevin (author of <em>Tomorrow, and Tomorrow, and Tomorrow<\/em>)<\/p>\n<p>A bookseller\u2019s carefully ordered life is repeatedly interrupted by unexpected events that ultimately transform him.<\/p>\n<p><a target=\"_blank\" href=\"https:\/\/shop.thebookcellar.shop\/item\/3w5NF3kptRBfRmrAjwFuAg\">Silver Sparrow<\/a> by Tayari Jones (author of American Marriage and recent hit, Kin)<\/p>\n<p>This novel is about the lives we plan, the lives we inherit, and the consequences of choices made long before we understand them.<\/p>\n<p>And since it\u2019s still Obama week, <a target=\"_blank\" href=\"https:\/\/shop.thebookcellar.shop\/item\/DayRjyMnwHnJlQyaOF6ccg\">The Light We Carry<\/a> by Michelle Obama<\/p>\n<p>This book delves into finding steadiness amid uncertainty. Get caught in a discussion about resilience, adaptation, and discovering purpose during unexpected transitions.<\/p>\n<p><a target=\"_blank\" href=\"https:\/\/bookshop.org\/a\/82500\/9781420154870\"><strong>A Deal at Dawn<\/strong><\/a><strong> by Vanessa Riley<\/strong> \u2014 Jahleel and Katherine embrace devastating, unexpected turns, make difficult choices, and discover that the life they need is nothing they planned for. Let the games begin. Releases June 30th. Preorder and ask for it at your library.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Get these books from <\/strong><a target=\"_blank\" href=\"https:\/\/www.thebookcellar.shop\/\"><strong>The Book Cellar<\/strong><\/a><strong>, in Conyers, GA. They still have a few signed copies of Fire Sword and Sea.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>You can also try one of my partners in the fight<\/strong><a target=\"_blank\" href=\"https:\/\/vanessariley.com\/fireswordandsea.htm\"><strong>, bookstores<\/strong><\/a><strong> large and small, who are in the trenches with me.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>You can find my notes on Substack or on my website, <\/strong><a target=\"_blank\" href=\"https:\/\/www.vanessariley.com\/\"><strong>VanessaRiley.com<\/strong><\/a><strong>, under the podcast link in the About tab.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>Let\u2019s keep rising and creating together. I need you. Like, share, subscribe, and stay connected to <\/strong><strong><em>Write of Passage<\/em><\/strong><strong>.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>Thank you for being here.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>I want you to come again. This is Vanessa Riley.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>This is a public episode. If you&#8217;d like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit <a href=\"https:\/\/vanessariley.substack.com\/subscribe?utm_medium=podcast&amp;utm_campaign=CTA_2\">vanessariley.substack.com\/subscribe<\/a><\/p>\n<div id=\"vanes-2671653441\" class=\"vanes-after-content vanes-entity-placement\" style=\"margin-top: 3px;margin-right: 3px;margin-bottom: 3px;margin-left: 3px;\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/vanessariley.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/05\/SubstackAd.png?fit=1080%2C1350&#038;ssl=1\" alt=\"Listen to the Write of Passage Weekly Podcast\"  srcset=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/vanessariley.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/05\/SubstackAd.png?w=1080&ssl=1 1080w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/vanessariley.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/05\/SubstackAd.png?resize=240%2C300&ssl=1 240w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/vanessariley.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/05\/SubstackAd.png?resize=819%2C1024&ssl=1 819w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/vanessariley.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/05\/SubstackAd.png?resize=768%2C960&ssl=1 768w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 640px) 100vw, 640px\" width=\"540\" height=\"675\"   \/><\/div>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>What if the best thing that happened to you this week was the thing you didn\u2019t want? A canceled flight. A collapsed bookcase. An unexpected lesson about time. Today, I\u2019m sharing three lessons about joy, messes, and the surprising gifts hidden inside life\u2019s interruptions. Three Lessons About Joy and Messes Three things happened within roughly [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":6410,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[81,793,9,620,756,694],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-6409","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-personal-stories","category-politics","category-recommended-reading","category-syndication","category-technology","category-tv-and-film"],"aioseo_notices":[],"aioseo_head":"\n\t\t<!-- All in One SEO 4.9.8 - aioseo.com -->\n\t<meta name=\"description\" content=\"What if the best thing that happened to you this week was the thing you didn\u2019t want? 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