{"id":6299,"date":"2026-03-17T13:10:00","date_gmt":"2026-03-17T13:10:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/vanessariley.com\/blog\/2026\/03\/17\/write-of-passage-not-what-they-voted-for\/"},"modified":"2026-03-17T13:10:00","modified_gmt":"2026-03-17T13:10:00","slug":"write-of-passage-not-what-they-voted-for","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/vanessariley.com\/blog\/2026\/03\/17\/write-of-passage-not-what-they-voted-for\/","title":{"rendered":"Write of Passage: Not What They Voted For"},"content":{"rendered":"<!--[if lt IE 9]><script>document.createElement('audio');<\/script><![endif]-->\n<audio class=\"wp-audio-shortcode\" id=\"audio-6299-1\" preload=\"none\" style=\"width: 100%;\" controls=\"controls\"><source type=\"audio\/mpeg\" src=\"https:\/\/api.substack.com\/feed\/podcast\/191221791\/7cd04892bb749b43ff5b19ff7a1e1d83.mp3?_=1\" \/><a href=\"https:\/\/api.substack.com\/feed\/podcast\/191221791\/7cd04892bb749b43ff5b19ff7a1e1d83.mp3\">https:\/\/api.substack.com\/feed\/podcast\/191221791\/7cd04892bb749b43ff5b19ff7a1e1d83.mp3<\/a><\/audio>\n<p>My husband, a retired military man, doesn\u2019t talk much about his service.But when he does, he\u2019s careful\u2014measured\u2014about the details and the conflicts he may have witnessed.<\/p><div id=\"vanes-2281167907\" class=\"vanes-content vanes-entity-placement\" style=\"margin-top: 2px;margin-right: 2px;margin-bottom: 2px;margin-left: 2px;\"><a href=\"https:\/\/vanessariley.com\/fireswordandsea.htm\" aria-label=\"Fire Sword &amp; Sea\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/vanessariley.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/05\/FireSwordSea_HC-scaled.jpg?fit=1706%2C2560&#038;ssl=1\" alt=\"Fire Sword &amp; Sea\"  srcset=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/vanessariley.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/05\/FireSwordSea_HC-scaled.jpg?w=1706&ssl=1 1706w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/vanessariley.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/05\/FireSwordSea_HC-scaled.jpg?resize=200%2C300&ssl=1 200w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/vanessariley.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/05\/FireSwordSea_HC-scaled.jpg?resize=683%2C1024&ssl=1 683w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/vanessariley.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/05\/FireSwordSea_HC-scaled.jpg?resize=768%2C1152&ssl=1 768w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/vanessariley.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/05\/FireSwordSea_HC-scaled.jpg?resize=1024%2C1536&ssl=1 1024w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/vanessariley.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/05\/FireSwordSea_HC-scaled.jpg?resize=1365%2C2048&ssl=1 1365w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/vanessariley.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/05\/FireSwordSea_HC-scaled.jpg?w=1280&ssl=1 1280w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 640px) 100vw, 640px\" width=\"569\" height=\"853\"   \/><\/a><\/div>\n<p>I did get him to share a little about evacuating citizens during Hurricane Katrina.<\/p>\n<p>But  then (Saturday) I got a call while I was on the road in Baltimore.<\/p>\n<p>A woman who had been his office mate\u2026a navigator who became a pilot\u2026someone he once gave a check ride to\u2026<\/p>\n<p>She had a beautiful laugh\u2014the kind that filled a room.Always encouraging. Always steady.<\/p>\n<p>She died this weekend.<\/p>\n<p>She\u2014and her crew\u2014became casualties of a U.S. war.<\/p>\n<p>I just came back from a quick dash to Baltimore.I spent time in a beautiful bookstore, wandered through a wonderful library system, and got to greet Maryland readers\u2014people who love stories the way I do.<\/p>\n<p>I brought work with me.My next novel is brewing.<\/p>\n<p>But I didn\u2019t touch it.<\/p>\n<p>Instead, I let myself be wrecked by <em>Kin<\/em> by Tayari Jones.Because I needed escape.Not distraction\u2014escape. The kind that reminds you why stories matter when the real world feels like it\u2019s unraveling.<\/p>\n<p>Right now, I\u2019m living in a dichotomy.<\/p>\n<p>On one side, there\u2019s the book world\u2014my world.Deadlines. Promotion. Strategy. The constant push to get our stories into as many hands as possible.<\/p>\n<p>On the other side\u2026 there\u2019s everything else.<\/p>\n<p>Every time I leave my house, gas costs more. It has jumped from $2.65 to nearly $3.90.Every headline feels heavier than the last.<\/p>\n<p>And now, we\u2019re in a war I didn\u2019t want\u2014a war I didn\u2019t vote for.<\/p>\n<p>Let me be clear\u2014I support the troops. Always.But that does not mean I support everything that puts them in harm\u2019s way.<\/p>\n<p>Because this isn\u2019t abstract to me.<\/p>\n<p>My husband\u2014retired military\u2014flew with a young pilot.She sat at the desk next to his.She is now a casualty of this war.<\/p>\n<p>This isn\u2019t policy.This is personal.<\/p>\n<p>When things get heavy, I put my feelings in a box. I believe in compartmentalization.<\/p>\n<p>Put your grief in one box.Your anger in another.Your ambition somewhere else.<\/p>\n<p>It\u2019s how I\u2019ve survived rooms where I knew I wasn\u2019t valued.Rooms where people smiled politely while quietly wishing I\u2019d disappear.<\/p>\n<p>And yes\u2014sometimes you smile to keep from crying.Sometimes you grin and bear it because the future matters more than the discomfort of the present.<\/p>\n<p>I thought I was good at that.<\/p>\n<p>But this?This is harder.<\/p>\n<p>When things were impossible for Jacquotte Delahaye and Sarah Sayon in <em>Fire, Sword, and Sea<\/em>, they turned to fire. The wish to burn it all down and clear away the rubbish, that they were presented. <\/p>\n<p>That feeling must be universal. I am very tempted to point out to those who enabled this hellscape why they need fire. It might feel good to curse out the people who deserve it.<\/p>\n<p>You\u2019ve watched the news. I\u2019m sure some very choice words have come to mind.<\/p>\n<p>But that\u2019s not me.<\/p>\n<p>I have faith, a moral compass, a soul that won\u2019t be damned because of enablers.<\/p>\n<p>Which means I enter rooms\u2014and exit them\u2014with grace, poise, and dignity.I will not let anyone steal that from me.<\/p>\n<p>Racism will not stumble me.Misogyny will not humble me.<\/p>\n<p>And those who don\u2019t value stories\u2014especially stories about history, power, and women\u2014will never shut me up.<\/p>\n<p>So I will not let them win by becoming something I\u2019m not.<\/p>\n<p>Nonetheless, let\u2019s not pretend. Let\u2019s open the compartment where the rage is.<\/p>\n<p>The world feels like it\u2019s on fire. Self-inflicted fire.<\/p>\n<p>There\u2019s a part of me that wants to point fingers.To call out everyone who said, \u201cboth sides are the same.\u201dEveryone who reduced complex decisions to a single issue.Everyone who believed nothing truly bad could happen.<\/p>\n<p>Because now we are here.We are off the guardrails.<\/p>\n<p>And maybe\u2014just maybe\u2014these are the consequences people needed to feel, and unfortunately, they must bear witness to the blood that has been spilled.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cVanessa, you are being hyperbolic. No one wanted this.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Are we sure?<\/p>\n<p>Many of us have been talking about book bans and hiding history. Yet must they see an executive order force the National Park Service to dismantle the panels depicting enslavement at the President\u2019s House on Independence Mall?<\/p>\n<p>\u201cOh, that\u2019s a one-off, and now the panels are back.\u201d So a cleanup on aisle nine makes everything better?<\/p>\n<p>And let\u2019s look at the rest of the cleanup items.<\/p>\n<p>People say they voted for lower gas prices.But prices in Atlanta climbed from $2.65 to $3.85.<\/p>\n<p>Some say they voted for no new wars.But now we have Operation Midnight Hammer in June 2025\u2014striking nuclear facilities in Iran.And Operation Epic Fury, launched February 28, 2026\u2014starting a war.<\/p>\n<p>And the cost?<\/p>\n<p>A strike hit Shajareh Tayyebeh, a girls\u2019 elementary school, killing at least 175 people\u2014the majority schoolgirls between the ages of 7 and 12.<\/p>\n<p>Thirteen U.S. service members are dead.At least 200 are wounded\u2014many with traumatic brain injuries, burns, and shrapnel wounds.<\/p>\n<p>A nation\u2019s leader\u2014Ayatollah Ali Khamenei\u2014was killed in a precision strike,along with generals, officials, and their families\u2014hardening resolve against the U.S. We are less safe because of this.<\/p>\n<p>And for those who said they voted for a stronger economy\u2014the numbers tell another story:<\/p>\n<p>92,000 jobs were lost in February 2026.Unemployment ticked up to 4.4%.GDP growth slowed to 0.7%.<\/p>\n<p>Inflation, now at 2.4%, is projected to rise toward 3 to 5%, and oil prices could surge past $110 a barrel.<\/p>\n<p>I could add the occupation of ICE in several U.S. cities\u2014American citizens being unlawfully detained and unlawfully killed.<\/p>\n<p>So I ask again\u2014what did they really vote for? Misery? The right to \u201cown\u201d the left? The ability to stew in misogyny and privilege? Or the foolhardy belief that the harm they saw aimed at others wouldn\u2019t boomerang back and hurt them?<\/p>\n<p>Here I thought I was good at compartmentalization. It seems the majority of voters\u2014and those who sat out the election and ushered in this hellscape\u2014are masters at it.<\/p>\n<p>Exhale. Inhale.<\/p>\n<p>I guess it doesn\u2019t matter. We are here.<\/p>\n<p>There are a lot of good books to read and escape into. Amy Barrett has a delightful one that will take us back to the safe \u201990s.<\/p>\n<p>Everyone should be reading and writing. Put your insides onto paper. Read and build your empathy and comprehension. Escape to a magical library. Kate Quinn has a lovely one for you.<\/p>\n<p>But more than ever, everyone must create. Creating saves our souls.<\/p>\n<p>I have to believe that creating matters more now than ever. Creating stories helps us remember. We need to remember how things can go horribly wrong\u2014as well as righteously right.<\/p>\n<p>When I write, my characters, rooted in history, show how to resist\u2014how to imagine something better.<\/p>\n<p>So yes, I will keep writing.<\/p>\n<p>For everyone, I will compartmentalize my frustration and fears and keep showing up.<\/p>\n<p>I will be here with grace.With dignity.With truth.<\/p>\n<p>Even now, when it\u2019s hard.Especially now, because it\u2019s so needed.<\/p>\n<p>To the family of Capt. Ariana G. Savino and all love ones of the military men and women killed in this war, I pray for your peace.<\/p>\n<p>This week\u2019s book list:<\/p>\n<p><a target=\"_blank\" href=\"https:\/\/www.mahoganybooks.com\/9781250378125?searchid=0&amp;search_query=If+I+Ruled+the+World+\"><em>If I Ruled the World <\/em><\/a>by Amy DuBois Barnett \u2013 A fast-paced novel set in late-1990s New York, following a Black magazine editor navigating the cutthroat worlds of fashion and hip-hop while fighting to save a struggling publication.<\/p>\n<p><a target=\"_blank\" href=\"https:\/\/bookshop.org\/a\/9266\/99781622039081\"><em>It\u2019s OK That You\u2019re Not OK: Meeting Grief and Loss in a Culture That Doesn\u2019t Understand<\/em><\/a> by Megan Devine \u2013 A compassionate and validating guide that challenges how we think about grief, offering permission to mourn without rushing healing.<\/p>\n<p><a target=\"_blank\" href=\"https:\/\/www.mahoganybooks.com\/9780525659181?searchid=0&amp;search_query=kin\"><em>Kin<\/em><\/a> by Tayari Jones \u2013 A deeply moving and intimate novel that explores family, love, and the enduring bonds that shape identity and belonging.<\/p>\n<p><a target=\"_blank\" href=\"https:\/\/bookshop.org\/a\/9266\/9780063244788\"><em>The Astral Library<\/em><\/a> by Kate Quinn \u2013 A fantastical, immersive adventure about a hidden library where readers can step inside beloved books and live new lives.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Consider purchasing these books plus <\/strong><a target=\"_blank\" href=\"https:\/\/www.mahoganybooks.com\/9780063271043?searchid=0&amp;search_query=fire+sword+and+sea\"><strong>Fire Sword and Sea<\/strong><\/a><strong> from Mahogany Books or from one of my partners in the fight<\/strong><a target=\"_blank\" href=\"https:\/\/vanessariley.com\/fireswordandsea.htm\"><strong>, bookstores<\/strong><\/a><strong> large and small, who are hanging with me.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>Please keep spreading the word. Fire Sword and Sea is the vicarious adventure you didn\u2019t know you needed and a guide to resistance.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>You can find my notes on Substack or on my website, <\/strong><a target=\"_blank\" href=\"https:\/\/www.vanessariley.com\/\"><strong>VanessaRiley.com<\/strong><\/a><strong>, under the podcast link in the About tab.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>Enjoying these essays? Go ahead and like this episode, share, and subscribe to <\/strong><strong><em>Write of Passage<\/em><\/strong><strong> so you never miss a moment.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>Thank you for listening. I want you to come again. This is Vanessa Riley.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>This is a public episode. If you&#8217;d like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit <a href=\"https:\/\/vanessariley.substack.com\/subscribe?utm_medium=podcast&amp;utm_campaign=CTA_2\">vanessariley.substack.com\/subscribe<\/a><\/p>\n<div id=\"vanes-2822508185\" class=\"vanes-after-content vanes-entity-placement\" style=\"margin-top: 3px;margin-right: 3px;margin-bottom: 3px;margin-left: 3px;\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/vanessariley.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/05\/SubstackAd.png?fit=1080%2C1350&#038;ssl=1\" alt=\"Listen to the Write of Passage Weekly Podcast\"  srcset=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/vanessariley.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/05\/SubstackAd.png?w=1080&ssl=1 1080w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/vanessariley.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/05\/SubstackAd.png?resize=240%2C300&ssl=1 240w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/vanessariley.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/05\/SubstackAd.png?resize=819%2C1024&ssl=1 819w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/vanessariley.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/05\/SubstackAd.png?resize=768%2C960&ssl=1 768w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 640px) 100vw, 640px\" width=\"540\" height=\"675\"   \/><\/div>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>My husband, a retired military man, doesn\u2019t talk much about his service.But when he does, he\u2019s careful\u2014measured\u2014about the details and the conflicts he may have witnessed. I did get him to share a little about evacuating citizens during Hurricane Katrina. But then (Saturday) I got a call while I was on the road in Baltimore. 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