{"id":6297,"date":"2026-03-10T13:10:00","date_gmt":"2026-03-10T13:10:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/vanessariley.com\/blog\/2026\/03\/10\/write-of-passage-the-vicarious-vicious-keyboard\/"},"modified":"2026-03-10T13:10:00","modified_gmt":"2026-03-10T13:10:00","slug":"write-of-passage-the-vicarious-vicious-keyboard","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/vanessariley.com\/blog\/2026\/03\/10\/write-of-passage-the-vicarious-vicious-keyboard\/","title":{"rendered":"Write of Passage: The Vicarious Vicious Keyboard"},"content":{"rendered":"<!--[if lt IE 9]><script>document.createElement('audio');<\/script><![endif]-->\n<audio class=\"wp-audio-shortcode\" id=\"audio-6297-1\" preload=\"none\" style=\"width: 100%;\" controls=\"controls\"><source type=\"audio\/mpeg\" src=\"https:\/\/api.substack.com\/feed\/podcast\/190478861\/7549862583992e6d100b7cb47fb0ad99.mp3?_=1\" \/><a href=\"https:\/\/api.substack.com\/feed\/podcast\/190478861\/7549862583992e6d100b7cb47fb0ad99.mp3\">https:\/\/api.substack.com\/feed\/podcast\/190478861\/7549862583992e6d100b7cb47fb0ad99.mp3<\/a><\/audio>\n<p>What if I told you the most dangerous weapon most of us carry\u2026 isn\u2019t a gun or a knife?<\/p><div id=\"vanes-2330285922\" class=\"vanes-content vanes-entity-placement\" style=\"margin-top: 2px;margin-right: 2px;margin-bottom: 2px;margin-left: 2px;\"><a href=\"https:\/\/vanessariley.com\/fireswordandsea.htm\" aria-label=\"Fire Sword &amp; Sea\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/vanessariley.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/05\/FireSwordSea_HC-scaled.jpg?fit=1706%2C2560&#038;ssl=1\" alt=\"Fire Sword &amp; Sea\"  srcset=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/vanessariley.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/05\/FireSwordSea_HC-scaled.jpg?w=1706&ssl=1 1706w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/vanessariley.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/05\/FireSwordSea_HC-scaled.jpg?resize=200%2C300&ssl=1 200w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/vanessariley.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/05\/FireSwordSea_HC-scaled.jpg?resize=683%2C1024&ssl=1 683w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/vanessariley.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/05\/FireSwordSea_HC-scaled.jpg?resize=768%2C1152&ssl=1 768w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/vanessariley.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/05\/FireSwordSea_HC-scaled.jpg?resize=1024%2C1536&ssl=1 1024w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/vanessariley.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/05\/FireSwordSea_HC-scaled.jpg?resize=1365%2C2048&ssl=1 1365w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/vanessariley.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/05\/FireSwordSea_HC-scaled.jpg?w=1280&ssl=1 1280w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 640px) 100vw, 640px\" width=\"569\" height=\"853\"   \/><\/a><\/div>\n<p>It\u2019s a keyboard.<\/p>\n<p>Millions of people every day wake up, pick up their phones, and step into a strange theater of human behavior\u2014where cruelty spreads faster than truth, outrage travels farther than kindness, and strangers feel emboldened to destroy someone they\u2019ve never met.<\/p>\n<p>And the worst part?<\/p>\n<p>For some people\u2026 it feels good.<\/p>\n<p>That rush. That attention. That viral moment.<\/p>\n<p>Today I want to talk about the dark side of something we all do.<\/p>\n<p><strong>The Vicarious Vicious Keyboard<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>Human nature is something I study.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>It\u2019s one of the tools I use to make my characters feel real\u2014solid\u2026 and undeniably human.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>People aren\u2019t perfect. So my characters aren\u2019t either.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>Sometimes they want to do something selfish. Something indulgent. Something that brings them no real benefit at all.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>And that impulse? That foolishness?<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>It speaks to the heart of all our pent-up reckless desires.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>After all, don\u2019t we love reading about things we\u2019d never do ourselves? Not in the real world.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>Things we lack the guts\u2014the raw courage\u2014to do?<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>I remember the first time I learned the word <\/strong><strong><em>vicarious<\/em><\/strong><strong>. It was on one of those weekly vocabulary lists in school. You remember when we had homework, and Mom would drill you on the list, while she cooked.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>Vicarious\u2014<\/strong><em>adjective<\/em><\/p>\n<p><strong>According to the Britannica Dictionary, vicarious <\/strong>means experienced or felt by watching, hearing about, or reading about someone else rather than by doing something yourself.<\/p>\n<p>Light bulbs flashed. Thunder rolled.<\/p>\n<p><strong>I understood this. My life changed a little. Suddenly I had a word for something I\u2019d always felt but couldn\u2019t name: and the dangerous desires of the human heart had a vehicle.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>That thrill of experiencing something through someone else.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>I can be an astronaut. I could be a Duke. I could be a NASA mathematician. I could be a hockey player. I could be a cowgirl riding backwards on a horse. Anything, even a serial killer.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>But like most things\u2026 we in the digital age take things too far.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>We don\u2019t know when to stop.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>And the internet\u2014well, the internet makes it easier for us to keep going.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>Yes, social media and endless scrolling. I\u2019m look at you.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>Have you ever put up a post and suddenly\u2014miraculously\u2014it get clicks? I\u2019m talking serious clicks.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>Once I made an IG post about the imagery in the <\/strong><strong><em>Sinners<\/em><\/strong><strong> movie poster; it reminded me of Ernie Barnes and his iconic painting <\/strong><strong><em>The Sugar Shack<\/em><\/strong><strong>\u2014the same painting immortalized on <\/strong><strong><em>Good Times<\/em><\/strong><strong> and on Marvin Gaye\u2019s <\/strong><strong><em>I Want You<\/em><\/strong><strong> album cover.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>\u201cThat swirl of limbs.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>That sense of joy, rhythm, resistance.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>The juke joint as sacred space.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>Well, that post\u2014that simple observation\u2014went viral in April of 2025.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>Almost a million views.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>Over ninety-five thousand likes.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>And I\u2019ll be honest\u2026 it felt good.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>It had me checking the app again and again like an addict. Refreshing. Watching the numbers climb. For a few moments I even wondered\u2014<\/strong><strong><em>what could I do to capture that magic again?<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>I liked that rush. If I could do it again, I would. But that\u2019s the magic of viral.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>A scroll through threads or a dash through Twitter will show you the posts with the most likes are often vile or viscous.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>Some of the most toxic posts go viral. The same feeling I had checking art comments must be the same for those who post hate or speech about harm.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>Are people willing to chase the clicks even if it means posting cruelty?<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>Are these fiends, checking their toxic feeds for engagement? Does negative attention spur them to post something even crazier?<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>Is there a craving for attention, so strong that negativity will do.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>Have we grown so safe behind a a keyboard that we lean in at a greater propensity to bully?<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>Or is it something darker\u2014something more insidious? Does the hurt inside bubble up until it spills out online?<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>Do endorphins kick in when the crowd joins the pile-on.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>Let\u2019s be honest\u2014every nasty thread post or tweet can\u2019t be a bot.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>I keep asking myself: what\u2019s in it for someone to be that hurtful? That\u2019s the part of the vicarious journey I don\u2019t get.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>But I do see the consequences:<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>Actors doing their jobs\u2014playing fictional characters\u2014suddenly have to issue statements condemning racist or homophobic harassment from so-called \u201cfans.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>Any given day on Twitter\u2014and honestly, I don\u2019t recommend it\u2014you\u2019ll see people wishing harm on others simply because they didn\u2019t like a character\u2026 or because someone attended an award show.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>This newfound comfort with cruelty makes me wonder if our lives have become so hollow that we now live evil vicarious lives, victimizing others with a keyboard?<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>When I was writing Jacquotte Delahaye (Fire Sword and Sea), I had to wrestle with her darkness.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>She\u2019d endured terrible things, the cruel deaths of people she loved. Betrayal. Loss.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>And I had to walk a fine line. I don\u2019t do trauma porn. I believe we write of violence without hurting or triggering readers, if at all possible.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>For Jacquotte, I wrestled with her resolve to survive and achieve her dreams with her thirst for vengeance.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>Jacquotte was angry.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>And if she hadn\u2019t had people around her\u2014people to talk her down\u2014she could have become something far more violent.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>Yes, she\u2019s a pirate. Violence is part of that world.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>But even pirates are human.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>I had to find her humanity. I had to lay it bare on the page.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>Even the most conflicted person must retain some trace of it. Rage and anger cannot pull you so far away from your essence that nothing remains but darkness.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>Today, I read Psalm 38:11\u201312<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>My friends and companions stand aloof from my plague,<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>and my nearest kin stand far off.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>Those who seek my life lay their snares;<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>those who seek my hurt speak of ruin<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>and meditate treachery all day long.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>David wrote many of the Psalms while literally running for his life.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>But the line that stopped me was this:<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong><em>\u201cThose who seek my hurt speak of ruin and meditate treachery all day long.\u201d<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>Meditate on treachery.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>Think about that.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>We have too much to do in this life to sit around meditating or posting on someone else\u2019s downfall.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>Yes, the world feels chaotic right now. Politics alone can drive you crazy if you dwell on it. Believe me\u2014I want to shout about how I warned \u2026<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>If I lived inside that frustration every hour, I\u2019d lose my mind. No. I choose to vicariously teleport into a book, movie, or research. I know I will not <\/strong><strong><em>meditate treachery all day long<\/em><\/strong><strong>.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>So to the keyboard warriors, I\u2019m asking something simple:<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>Step up.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>If you see a friend posting or sharing nonsense\u2014talk to them. Help them pull back before they become one of those treacherous people treachery.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>And if you yourself posted something that seemed funny in the moment but later you realized it caused harm\u2026<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>Apologize.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>A real apology.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>Not the fake kind that says, \u201cI\u2019m sorry if anyone was offended.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>And read the Psalms, you will see David fully anguish in his sorrow. He names it. He owns it.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>That honesty matters.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>When I wrote Jacquotte, there were moments where she was unrepentant in her anger\u2026 and moments where she was broken by the consequences of her choices.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>I put all of it on the page so readers could see it, feel it, and understand it.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>I\u2019m grateful for the technology that allows us to reach people all over the world in seconds.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>With that power comes responsibility. We never know what will go viral.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>Before you post ask yourself:<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>Am I posting nonsense about someone I don\u2019t know &#8211; delete.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>Am I posting something that could cause harm: reputational, self-harm, mobs\u2014delete.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>Did I think not only about intent but possible impact\u2014delete.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>In the meantime\u2026 I suggest we all touch a little grass.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>Get some air. Take your allergy meds. And read a good book. This week\u2019s booklist will have some recommendations.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><a target=\"_blank\" href=\"https:\/\/www.mahoganybooks.com\/9780063093331?searchid=0&amp;search_query=This+Ain%E2%80%99t+Our+First+Rodeo+%E2%80%94+Liara+Tamani+\"><strong>This Ain\u2019t Our First Rodeo<\/strong><\/a><strong> \u2014 Liara Tamani<\/strong> \u2014 A heartfelt contemporary romance where former sweethearts reconnect amid Houston\u2019s rodeo culture. It\u2019s a messy ride.<\/p>\n<p><a target=\"_blank\" href=\"https:\/\/bookshop.org\/a\/9266\/9780674659902\"><strong>Hate Crimes in Cyberspace<\/strong><\/a><strong> \u2014 Danielle Keats Citron<\/strong> \u2014 A legal and cultural examination of how online harassment and hate speech flourish on digital platforms and the real-world harm they cause.<\/p>\n<p><a target=\"_blank\" href=\"https:\/\/www.mahoganybooks.com\/9781476737997?searchid=0&amp;search_query=Life+in+Motion\"><strong>Life in Motion: An Unlikely Ballerina<\/strong><\/a><strong> \u2014 Misty Copeland<\/strong> \u2014 A powerful memoir in which the groundbreaking ballerina recounts her journey from a difficult childhood to becoming the first Black principal dancer at American Ballet Theatre.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Consider purchasing these books plus <\/strong><a target=\"_blank\" href=\"https:\/\/www.mahoganybooks.com\/9780063271043?searchid=0&amp;search_query=fire+sword+and+sea\"><strong>Fire Sword and Sea<\/strong><\/a><strong> from Mahogany Books or from one of my partners in the fight<\/strong><a target=\"_blank\" href=\"https:\/\/vanessariley.com\/fireswordandsea.htm\"><strong>, bookstores<\/strong><\/a><strong> large and small, who are hanging with me.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>Please keep spreading the word. Fire Sword and Sea is the vicarious adventure you didn\u2019t know you needed.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>On March 14th, 2026 I\u2019ll be in Baltimore at <\/strong><a target=\"_blank\" href=\"https:\/\/vanessaratmahoganybooks.eventbrite.com\/\"><strong>Mahogany Books<\/strong><\/a><strong>.<\/strong><\/p>\n<\/p>\n<p><strong>And on March 15th I\u2019ll be at the Baltimore County Library in Owings Mills for the <\/strong><a target=\"_blank\" href=\"https:\/\/events.bcpl.info\/event\/15614620\"><strong>Book Lovers Bash Author Panel<\/strong><\/a><strong>, talking about books, storytelling, and the many-splendored wonder of love\u2014with Wade Rouse and Matthew Norman.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>Hey. Sometimes the best antidote to the noise of the internet is a room full of readers.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>You can find my notes on Substack or on my website, <\/strong><a target=\"_blank\" href=\"https:\/\/www.vanessariley.com\/\"><strong>VanessaRiley.com<\/strong><\/a><strong>, under the podcast link in the About tab.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>Enjoying these essays? Go ahead and like this episode, share, and subscribe to <\/strong><strong><em>Write of Passage<\/em><\/strong><strong> so you never miss a moment.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>Thank you for listening. I want you to come again. This is Vanessa Riley.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>This is a public episode. If you&#8217;d like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit <a href=\"https:\/\/vanessariley.substack.com\/subscribe?utm_medium=podcast&amp;utm_campaign=CTA_2\">vanessariley.substack.com\/subscribe<\/a><\/p>\n<div id=\"vanes-3662470594\" class=\"vanes-after-content vanes-entity-placement\" style=\"margin-top: 3px;margin-right: 3px;margin-bottom: 3px;margin-left: 3px;\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/vanessariley.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/05\/SubstackAd.png?fit=1080%2C1350&#038;ssl=1\" alt=\"Listen to the Write of Passage Weekly Podcast\"  srcset=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/vanessariley.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/05\/SubstackAd.png?w=1080&ssl=1 1080w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/vanessariley.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/05\/SubstackAd.png?resize=240%2C300&ssl=1 240w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/vanessariley.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/05\/SubstackAd.png?resize=819%2C1024&ssl=1 819w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/vanessariley.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/05\/SubstackAd.png?resize=768%2C960&ssl=1 768w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 640px) 100vw, 640px\" width=\"540\" height=\"675\"   \/><\/div>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>What if I told you the most dangerous weapon most of us carry\u2026 isn\u2019t a gun or a knife? It\u2019s a keyboard. Millions of people every day wake up, pick up their phones, and step into a strange theater of human behavior\u2014where cruelty spreads faster than truth, outrage travels farther than kindness, and strangers feel [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":6298,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[81,793,9,620,756,694],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-6297","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-personal-stories","category-politics","category-recommended-reading","category-syndication","category-technology","category-tv-and-film"],"aioseo_notices":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/vanessariley.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/03\/060efe90ba3e29556c6bb5e192660e57.jpg?fit=1280%2C720&ssl=1","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/vanessariley.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6297","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/vanessariley.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/vanessariley.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/vanessariley.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/vanessariley.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=6297"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/vanessariley.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6297\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/vanessariley.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/6298"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/vanessariley.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=6297"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/vanessariley.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=6297"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/vanessariley.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=6297"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}