{"id":6273,"date":"2025-12-16T14:10:00","date_gmt":"2025-12-16T14:10:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/vanessariley.com\/blog\/2025\/12\/16\/write-of-passage-why-i-stayed\/"},"modified":"2025-12-16T14:10:00","modified_gmt":"2025-12-16T14:10:00","slug":"write-of-passage-why-i-stayed","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/vanessariley.com\/blog\/2025\/12\/16\/write-of-passage-why-i-stayed\/","title":{"rendered":"Write of Passage: Why I Stayed"},"content":{"rendered":"<!--[if lt IE 9]><script>document.createElement('audio');<\/script><![endif]-->\n<audio class=\"wp-audio-shortcode\" id=\"audio-6273-1\" preload=\"none\" style=\"width: 100%;\" controls=\"controls\"><source type=\"audio\/mpeg\" src=\"https:\/\/api.substack.com\/feed\/podcast\/181772908\/9bbe87286d19f4aff28ff22f0857dc08.mp3?_=1\" \/><a href=\"https:\/\/api.substack.com\/feed\/podcast\/181772908\/9bbe87286d19f4aff28ff22f0857dc08.mp3\">https:\/\/api.substack.com\/feed\/podcast\/181772908\/9bbe87286d19f4aff28ff22f0857dc08.mp3<\/a><\/audio>\n<p>On December 6, 2024, I sat down to write my feelings after licking my wounds from the America I woke up to on November 5. 2024.<\/p><div id=\"vanes-1006389636\" class=\"vanes-content vanes-entity-placement\" style=\"margin-top: 2px;margin-right: 2px;margin-bottom: 2px;margin-left: 2px;\"><a href=\"https:\/\/vanessariley.com\/fireswordandsea.htm\" aria-label=\"Fire Sword &amp; Sea\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/vanessariley.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/05\/FireSwordSea_HC-scaled.jpg?fit=1706%2C2560&#038;ssl=1\" alt=\"Fire Sword &amp; Sea\"  srcset=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/vanessariley.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/05\/FireSwordSea_HC-scaled.jpg?w=1706&ssl=1 1706w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/vanessariley.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/05\/FireSwordSea_HC-scaled.jpg?resize=200%2C300&ssl=1 200w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/vanessariley.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/05\/FireSwordSea_HC-scaled.jpg?resize=683%2C1024&ssl=1 683w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/vanessariley.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/05\/FireSwordSea_HC-scaled.jpg?resize=768%2C1152&ssl=1 768w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/vanessariley.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/05\/FireSwordSea_HC-scaled.jpg?resize=1024%2C1536&ssl=1 1024w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/vanessariley.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/05\/FireSwordSea_HC-scaled.jpg?resize=1365%2C2048&ssl=1 1365w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/vanessariley.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/05\/FireSwordSea_HC-scaled.jpg?w=1280&ssl=1 1280w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 640px) 100vw, 640px\" width=\"569\" height=\"853\"   \/><\/a><\/div>\n<p>The country felt less kind. Definitely, less gentle. This America willingly choosing boisterous, noisy incompetence, and the awful idea that your neighbor stole your opportunity. This choice was madeover competence, compassion, and stable beef prices.<\/p>\n<p>So I did what I know how to do.<\/p>\n<p>I wrote my feelings. I put pen to paper\u2014or more accurately, fingers to keyboard\u2014and I put all my thoughts and my heart on to the page. This essay launched my Substack.<\/p>\n<p>I wrote a quote:<\/p>\n<p><strong>\u201cBut mama, I\u2019m in love with a criminal,<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>And this type of love isn\u2019t rational, it\u2019s physical.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>Mama, please don\u2019t cry, I will be alright,<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>All reason aside, I just can\u2019t deny, I love the guy.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>\u2013 Britney Spears, \u201cCriminal\u201d (Femme Fatale, 2011)<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>This was my Luigi Mangione phase.<\/p>\n<p>To be honest, I was confused about Substack. Is is a newsletter? Is it a social media? Is it something else. But once, I played with the format and tossed up a podcast post, and you guys downloaded it, I got bigger ideas and turned to you guys for accountability. I would write one podcast essay for a year.<\/p>\n<p>So the first podcast episode\/ essay was <a target=\"_blank\" href=\"https:\/\/vanessariley.substack.com\/p\/153512989\">The Weight of \u201cDiverse<\/a>\u201d. My take of what was happening in publishing. Thrilling. And you tuned in. We\u2019re almost at 17,000 downloads and hundreds of thousands of Substack views.<\/p>\n<p>This was a unique challenge. I\u2019m glad I stuck with this form of writing.<\/p>\n<p>But, people often say, <em>Vanessa, you write books. You\u2019re always writing your heart.<\/em> And that\u2019s true. But there\u2019s also a distance when I write about other people\u2019s lives. It\u2019s not me. I\u2019m not the main character. Writing good historical fiction, romance, or mystery requires analysis. It requires restraint. I don\u2019t pass judgment on the lives I\u2019m bringing back to you.<\/p>\n<p>In Sister Mother Warrior, I could not fault a Dahomey Warrior from following her king\u2019s orders to sell captives any more than I can pass judgement on a 2025 sailor following his naval chief\u2019s commands to bomb a fishing vessel. It\u2019s the commanders of US Forces in the Caribbean and its chain of command that bringing back pirates.<\/p>\n<p>But I digress.<\/p>\n<p>If I were Jacquotte Delahaye, I might\u2019ve stayed in the kitchen in Tortuga making soup, not run away to live a dream as a pirate. As a writer, I have to make their chaos\u2014make sense. Otherwise, I\u2019m not doing you the reader any good. And I refuse to dishonor the lives I\u2019ve been entrusted with.<\/p>\n<p>Everything I write in those books is layered on hard-fought facts: databases, archival digging, obscure records, and I do whatever it takes to bring readers closer to secret history, closer than they\u2019ve ever been before.<\/p>\n<p>Why?<\/p>\n<p>I\u2019m tired of women, particularly Black women and women of color, being portrayed as only victims in history. As if they survived history only through endurance, servitude, or some narrow \u201cmammy-fixation\u201d lens. My work insists they were complex, capable, and human.<\/p>\n<p>But writing these weekly essay\u2014this space\u2014was different.<\/p>\n<p>The first essay I wrote here was messy. Conflicted. It carried my trademark style to walk readers into someone else\u2019s shoes, even when that perspective is uncomfortable. It also came with a promise I made to myself: that here, I would be open. Vulnerable. That I would talk to you as friends\u2014friends willing to sit with my essay and listen.<\/p>\n<p>For 52 weeks\u2014an entire year\u2014I\u2019ve shown up. Most Mondays, I record in the evening, setting everything up so that by Tuesday at 9:10 AM, you\u2019d receive something new. A weekly offering. A kind of fresh manna. Each episode was labor but it\u2019s also a small love letter from me to you.<\/p>\n<p>I\u2019m, unapologetically, a write-aholic. But keeping that pace hasn\u2019t been easy. There were nights I wanted sleep more than words. Days when another book\u2019s edits or word count loomed. But when I commit to something I believe matters, I show up. I do the work.<\/p>\n<p>For 52 weeks, you\u2019ve allowed me to stand on the proverbial rooftop and shout my thoughts into what could have been a void.<\/p>\n<p>But it wasn\u2019t a void. You were there\u2014listening, encouraging, learning, reflecting. Thank you.<\/p>\n<p>This work takes effort. Real effort. From shaping ideas to wrestling them into coherence, then editing and distributing across platforms. We won\u2019t even get into the technical gymnastics of getting everything out into the world.<\/p>\n<p>Still, I\u2019m grateful. I\u2019m grateful we\u2019re on Substack. On Apple Podcasts. On Spotify, iHeartRadio, Amazon Music, Spreaker, and YouTube. Each platform grows at its own pace, each teaches me something new. And I\u2019m especially grateful that <em>you<\/em> are here.<\/p>\n<p>As we head into the final weeks of 2025, I want to be clear: I\u2019m not going anywhere.<\/p>\n<p>Season Two begins next week. For the most part, this new year will continue as a weekly offering\u2014my thoughts, shaped into essays. Occasionally, I may invite a guest, someone I\u2019m learning from, someone who stretches my thinking. But this is not an interview show. There are plenty of those already. This space remains what it has always been: a place for reflection, curiosity, and shared thought. And when something special comes along, I\u2019ll bring it here first\u2014to my friends.<\/p>\n<p>So thank you. Truly. Thank you for tuning in every week. For commenting, sharing, downloading, and telling others about this podcast. In some dark moments this year, your presence mattered more than you know. To everyone who has paid a subscription, you have blessed me. If I don\u2019t have your mailing address, please email it to me. I have a writing journal that I\u2019ve designed that I want to send to you.<\/p>\n<p>And finally as I close Season One, I\u2019ll leave you with this encouragement: we all have a right of passage. But I don\u2019t want us to sail past each other like ships in the night. I want us to sit together\u2014to talk, to think about the bigger ideas and the higher places we might go, together.<\/p>\n<p><strong>This week\u2019s booklist is last week\u2019s spotlight. Books coming out in January that need a little more love:<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><a target=\"_blank\" href=\"https:\/\/bookshop.org\/a\/1521\/9780063421189\"><strong>With Love, Harlem<\/strong><\/a><strong> by ReShonda Tate \u2014 This is a fictionalized version of Hazel Scott\u2019s story.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><a target=\"_blank\" href=\"https:\/\/bookshop.org\/a\/1521\/9781668051948\"><strong>The Seven Daughters of Dupree<\/strong><\/a><strong> by Nikesha Elise Williams \u2014 A multi\u2011generational family epic following seven Dupree women.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><a target=\"_blank\" href=\"https:\/\/bookshop.org\/a\/1521\/9781250326263\"><strong>Burn Down the Master\u2019s House<\/strong><\/a><strong> by Clay Cane \u2014 A searing, urgent exploration of race, identity, and power .<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><a target=\"_blank\" href=\"https:\/\/bookshop.org\/a\/1521\/9781250326263\"><strong>Last First Kiss<\/strong><\/a><strong> by Julian Winters \u2014 A second\u2011chance, slow\u2011burn romance about an Atlanta event planner.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><a target=\"_blank\" href=\"https:\/\/bookshop.org\/a\/1521\/9780736990363\"><strong>Happy Habits for Successful Women<\/strong><\/a><strong> by Valorie Burton \u2014 A practical, empowering guide that encourages women to adopt mindset and behavioral habits to become healthier, more resilient, and more aligned with their goals and values.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><a target=\"_blank\" href=\"https:\/\/bookshop.org\/a\/1521\/9781662529696\"><strong>Behind These Walls<\/strong><\/a><strong> by Yasmin Angoe \u2014 A twist\u2011driven psychological thriller in which a woman infiltrates a wealthy family\u2019s mansion under false pretenses.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><a target=\"_blank\" href=\"https:\/\/bookshop.org\/a\/1521\/9781496750822\"><strong>Murder From A to Z<\/strong><\/a><strong> by V.M. Burns \u2014 A cozy\u2011mystery in which bookstore owner and and her sister uncover sinister dealings at a retirement village.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>This week, I\u2019m highlighting <\/strong><a target=\"_blank\" href=\"https:\/\/thebookwormonline.com\/\"><strong>The Book Worm Bookstore<\/strong><\/a><strong> through their website and <\/strong><a target=\"_blank\" href=\"https:\/\/bookshop.org\/shop\/shopthebookworm\"><strong>Bookshop.org<\/strong><\/a><strong> .<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>Consider purchasing Fire Sword and Sea from <\/strong><a target=\"_blank\" href=\"https:\/\/bookshop.org\/a\/1521\/9780063271043\"><strong>The Book Worm Bookstore<\/strong><\/a><strong> or one of my partners in the fight<\/strong><a target=\"_blank\" href=\"https:\/\/vanessariley.com\/fireswordandsea.htm\"><strong>, bookstore\u2019s<\/strong><\/a><strong> large and small who are in this with me.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>Come on my readers. Let\u2019s get everyone excited for January reads.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>Show notes include a list of the books mentioned in this broadcast.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>You can find my notes on Substack or on my website, <\/strong><a target=\"_blank\" href=\"https:\/\/www.vanessariley.com\/\"><strong>VanessaRiley.com<\/strong><\/a><strong> under the podcast link in the About tab.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>Enjoying the vibe? Ready for Season 2? Go ahead and like this episode, share, and subscribe to <\/strong><strong><em>Write of Passage<\/em><\/strong><strong> so you never miss a moment.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>Thank you for listening. Hopefully, you\u2019ll come again. This is Vanessa Riley.<\/strong><\/p>\n<\/p>\n<p>This is a public episode. If you&#8217;d like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit <a href=\"https:\/\/vanessariley.substack.com\/subscribe?utm_medium=podcast&amp;utm_campaign=CTA_2\">vanessariley.substack.com\/subscribe<\/a><\/p>\n<div id=\"vanes-1549188049\" class=\"vanes-after-content vanes-entity-placement\" style=\"margin-top: 3px;margin-right: 3px;margin-bottom: 3px;margin-left: 3px;\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/vanessariley.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/05\/SubstackAd.png?fit=1080%2C1350&#038;ssl=1\" alt=\"Listen to the Write of Passage Weekly Podcast\"  srcset=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/vanessariley.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/05\/SubstackAd.png?w=1080&ssl=1 1080w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/vanessariley.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/05\/SubstackAd.png?resize=240%2C300&ssl=1 240w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/vanessariley.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/05\/SubstackAd.png?resize=819%2C1024&ssl=1 819w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/vanessariley.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/05\/SubstackAd.png?resize=768%2C960&ssl=1 768w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 640px) 100vw, 640px\" width=\"540\" height=\"675\"   \/><\/div>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>On December 6, 2024, I sat down to write my feelings after licking my wounds from the America I woke up to on November 5. 2024. The country felt less kind. Definitely, less gentle. This America willingly choosing boisterous, noisy incompetence, and the awful idea that your neighbor stole your opportunity. This choice was madeover [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":6274,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[81,793,9,620,756,694],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-6273","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-personal-stories","category-politics","category-recommended-reading","category-syndication","category-technology","category-tv-and-film"],"aioseo_notices":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/vanessariley.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/12\/7b170ecfbdb2b4e77eddd734b4c9fa1f.jpg?fit=1280%2C720&ssl=1","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/vanessariley.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6273","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/vanessariley.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/vanessariley.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/vanessariley.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/vanessariley.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=6273"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/vanessariley.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6273\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/vanessariley.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/6274"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/vanessariley.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=6273"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/vanessariley.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=6273"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/vanessariley.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=6273"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}