{"id":6267,"date":"2025-11-25T14:10:00","date_gmt":"2025-11-25T14:10:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/vanessariley.com\/blog\/2025\/11\/25\/write-of-passage-hospitality-dead\/"},"modified":"2025-11-25T14:10:00","modified_gmt":"2025-11-25T14:10:00","slug":"write-of-passage-hospitality-dead","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/vanessariley.com\/blog\/2025\/11\/25\/write-of-passage-hospitality-dead\/","title":{"rendered":"Write of Passage: Hospitality Dead?"},"content":{"rendered":"<!--[if lt IE 9]><script>document.createElement('audio');<\/script><![endif]-->\n<audio class=\"wp-audio-shortcode\" id=\"audio-6267-1\" preload=\"none\" style=\"width: 100%;\" controls=\"controls\"><source type=\"audio\/mpeg\" src=\"https:\/\/api.substack.com\/feed\/podcast\/179901772\/3fc50adfc0b00332aabfdd5b3b2b02a3.mp3?_=1\" \/><a href=\"https:\/\/api.substack.com\/feed\/podcast\/179901772\/3fc50adfc0b00332aabfdd5b3b2b02a3.mp3\">https:\/\/api.substack.com\/feed\/podcast\/179901772\/3fc50adfc0b00332aabfdd5b3b2b02a3.mp3<\/a><\/audio>\n<p>The gift of hospitality shouldn\u2019t be dead. But if I\u2019m honest, I think in certain parts of the country, and in certain circles I\u2019ve moved through, it might be on life-support. I\u2019ve watched people forget how to say welcome to strangers. <\/p><div id=\"vanes-3312482074\" class=\"vanes-content vanes-entity-placement\" style=\"margin-top: 2px;margin-right: 2px;margin-bottom: 2px;margin-left: 2px;\"><a href=\"https:\/\/vanessariley.com\/fireswordandsea.htm\" aria-label=\"Fire Sword &amp; Sea\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/vanessariley.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/05\/FireSwordSea_HC-scaled.jpg?fit=1706%2C2560&#038;ssl=1\" alt=\"Fire Sword &amp; Sea\"  srcset=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/vanessariley.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/05\/FireSwordSea_HC-scaled.jpg?w=1706&ssl=1 1706w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/vanessariley.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/05\/FireSwordSea_HC-scaled.jpg?resize=200%2C300&ssl=1 200w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/vanessariley.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/05\/FireSwordSea_HC-scaled.jpg?resize=683%2C1024&ssl=1 683w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/vanessariley.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/05\/FireSwordSea_HC-scaled.jpg?resize=768%2C1152&ssl=1 768w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/vanessariley.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/05\/FireSwordSea_HC-scaled.jpg?resize=1024%2C1536&ssl=1 1024w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/vanessariley.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/05\/FireSwordSea_HC-scaled.jpg?resize=1365%2C2048&ssl=1 1365w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/vanessariley.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/05\/FireSwordSea_HC-scaled.jpg?w=1280&ssl=1 1280w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 640px) 100vw, 640px\" width=\"569\" height=\"853\"   \/><\/a><\/div>\n<p>I\u2019ve seen other seem oblivious to making room at the table for others. This weekend while I was at Barnes and Nobles, I was handed an orange whistle and given instructions on how to blow it if I see an abduction happening. Because elections have consequences, brown people are not being treated with hospitality. They are literally under assault for being brown.<\/p>\n<p>I want off this Ferris wheel of bad karma. I want humans to act with generosity instead of suspicion. I want the world I write about, the happy ever after, the place where victory comes for those who persevere.<\/p>\n<p>You see, I am my mother\u2019s daughter.I was raised in the gospel of <em>killing them with kindness<\/em>\u2014and if you\u2019re still hatefully breathing, I might go in for another round. If you\u2019ve read any of my Lady Worthing mysteries, you know I believe in Columbo-type persistent. And in Jessica Fletcher style, I will stack a body count and keep digging until I find the truth. Determination is my love language. Stubbornness is too.<\/p>\n<p>So when I run head-first into metaphorical walls\u2014and Lord, have I met a few this year\u2014it isn\u2019t easy to step back and consider quitting.<\/p>\n<p>While it\u2019s natural for me to reflect on what I \u201cmight\u2019ve, should\u2019ve, could\u2019ve\u201d done differently, that level of introspection doesn\u2019t just come with right and wrong. It adds farces and facts. Am I supposed to say the truth in a softer voice? Am I to ignore facts and write euphemisms like we don\u2019t know that colonizers like Columbus came to kill and steal?<\/p>\n<p>I suppose it would be easier to forget that pirates in the 1600s were Black women, that ships didn\u2019t have an integrated crew, all while sailing with a cargo hold of chattel slaves.<\/p>\n<p>Ooops. A company with a $65 Billion dollar market cap instructed me to say a cargo hold of chattel imprisonment.<\/p>\n<p>Le Sigh.<\/p>\n<p>And then we arrive at my favorite time of year: <strong>Thanksgiving<\/strong>, the holiday my mother owned. She held it close to her heart like the pride of a champion athlete. Forget the World Series or the Boston Marathon\u2014Thanksgiving was <em>her<\/em> event. She trained for it all year. She curated pumpkin ornaments and gleaming charger plates in reds and deep oranges. She laid out gravy boats and soup tureens like treasured relics. And I fought\u2014fiercely\u2014to inherit the Fitz and Floyd pig that keeps the yeast rolls warm. Not just because it\u2019s pretty, but because it symbolizes everything, she taught me: family gathering, long hours in the kitchen, bending over backward to make others feel warm and welcomed and in life pigs are allowed to be pretty.<\/p>\n<p>Hospitality was one of my mother\u2019s greatest legacies.I hope\u2014truly hope\u2014that I embody even a portion of that in my life and work. But I won\u2019t lie: this year it has been hard.<\/p>\n<p>Hard to be hospitable.<\/p>\n<p>Hard to turn the other cheek when the other side of the equation seems intent on destruction.<\/p>\n<p>Hard to smile when some would prefer you feel small, insignificant, or silenced.<\/p>\n<p>Hard to create when your work is dismissed as nothing or there have been too many Caribbean books.<\/p>\n<p>On social media, I may laugh and joke. I may sing polite praises of my enemies\u2014and those who I no longer esteem as highly as I once did. There are exceptions, of course. And y\u2019all know exactly who they are\u201465 Billion dollar company. But I digress.<\/p>\n<p>In a few days, it will be Thanksgiving.And I am giving thanks.<\/p>\n<p>I am thankful for my family.I am thankful for my friends.I am thankful for my colleagues\u2014past and present.And I am deeply thankful for <strong>you<\/strong>, my listeners and my readers.<\/p>\n<p>Without you, I wouldn\u2019t have the hope I carry for the coming year.Without you, there would be no Write of Passage or stories reaching new tables.<\/p>\n<p>No late-night messages about characters who\u2019ve haunted me until I shared their story.<\/p>\n<p>No shared laughter over inside jokes you\u2019ve begun to catch\u2014because you know me. And I love getting to know you.<\/p>\n<p>Thank you for the letters, the comments.Thank you for the likes, the shares, and every conversation you sparked.Thank you for recommending this podcast, or my latest books <em>Fire Sword and Sea<\/em>, or old favorites like <em>Island Queen <\/em>or <em>A Duke, the Lady, and A Baby. <\/em>Your hospitality\u2014your generosity\u2014has lifted the low moments and made the high ones shine even brighter.<\/p>\n<p>So as we gather around our Thanksgiving tables, I want you to know that I\u2019m grateful for you. I\u2019m hopeful for the new year\u2014hopeful for the clearing away of old spaces, the opening of new ones. I am happy about the tables I sit at and the ones I walk away from with peace.<\/p>\n<p>I am thankful for the power to know who I am.And the courage to become who I want to be.<\/p>\n<p>I write about characters who make that choice every day\u2014who decide, despite their flaws and wounds and circumstances, to grow into the person they long to become. My wish for you, for everyone within the sound of my voice, and for every reader who picks up one of my books is simple:<\/p>\n<p><strong>May you live your greatest adventure.<\/strong><strong>May you become who you were always meant to be.<\/strong><strong>And may that parent, that person who loved you so deeply\u2014whether sitting across the Thanksgiving table or watching from above\u2014look at you and see their brightest legacy shining.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>This week\u2019s books to reflect upon are:<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><a target=\"_blank\" href=\"https:\/\/foxtalebookshoppe.com\/book\/9780593418574\"><strong>Unreasonable Hospitality<\/strong><\/a><strong> by <\/strong><strong>Will Guidara A powerful, modern meditation on the radical generosity that transforms people.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><a target=\"_blank\" href=\"https:\/\/foxtalebookshoppe.com\/book\/9781621451914\"><strong>The Kindness Diaries: One Man\u2019s Quest to Ignite Goodwill and Transform Lives Around the World<\/strong><\/a><strong> by <\/strong><em>Leon Logothetis<\/em><strong> Inspiring real-life story of a man traveling the world relying solely on the kindness of strangers.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><a target=\"_blank\" href=\"https:\/\/foxtalebookshoppe.com\/book\/9780812974850\"><strong>Hallelujah! The Welcome Table: A Lifetime of Memories with Recipes<\/strong><\/a><strong> by Maya Angelou \u2014 A collection of essays + recipes that really celebrate food, memory, and welcome.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>For a taste of fiction, food and healing, check out Bitter and Sweet by Christy Award winner Rhonda McKnight.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>I can\u2019t believe we are less than seven weeks away from the release of course <\/strong><a target=\"_blank\" href=\"https:\/\/foxtalebookshoppe.com\/book\/9780063271043\"><strong>Fire Sword and Sea<\/strong><\/a><strong> on January 13<\/strong><strong>th<\/strong><strong>, 2026. Caribbean women pirates\u2014Black women pirates join French and Indigenous women to sail the seas. If you\u2019re a librarian, vote for this book now in Library Reads in <\/strong><a target=\"_blank\" href=\"https:\/\/www.edelweiss.plus\/?sku=0063271044\"><strong>Edelweiss<\/strong><\/a><strong> and <\/strong><a target=\"_blank\" href=\"https:\/\/www.netgalley.com\/catalog\/book\/726721\"><strong>NetGalley<\/strong><\/a><strong>. Indie Next is voting now too. Time is almost up.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>This week, I\u2019m highlighting <\/strong><a target=\"_blank\" href=\"https:\/\/foxtalebookshoppe.com\/\"><strong>Fox Tale Book Store<\/strong><\/a><strong> through their website and <\/strong><a target=\"_blank\" href=\"https:\/\/bookshop.org\/shop\/foxtalebookshoppe\"><strong>Bookshop.org<\/strong><\/a><strong> .<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>Consider purchasing Fire Sword and Sea from <\/strong><a target=\"_blank\" href=\"https:\/\/foxtalebookshoppe.com\/book\/9780063271043\"><strong>FoxTale<\/strong><\/a><strong> or one of my partners in the fight<\/strong><a target=\"_blank\" href=\"https:\/\/vanessariley.com\/fireswordandsea.htm\"><strong>, bookstore\u2019s<\/strong><\/a><strong> large and small who are in this with me.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>Come on my readers. Let\u2019s get everyone excited for truth.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>Show notes include a list of the books mentioned in this broadcast.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>You can find my notes on Substack or on my website, <\/strong><a target=\"_blank\" href=\"https:\/\/www.vanessariley.com\/\"><strong>VanessaRiley.com<\/strong><\/a><strong> under the podcast link in the About tab.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>If you\u2019re on board, press that like button, subscribe, and share <\/strong><strong><em>Write of Passage. Never miss a moment. We have work to do. And I need You.<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>Thank you for listening. Hopefully, you\u2019ll come again. This is Vanessa Riley.<\/strong><\/p>\n<\/p>\n<p>This is a public episode. If you&#8217;d like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit <a href=\"https:\/\/vanessariley.substack.com\/subscribe?utm_medium=podcast&amp;utm_campaign=CTA_2\">vanessariley.substack.com\/subscribe<\/a><\/p>\n<div id=\"vanes-1812016734\" class=\"vanes-after-content vanes-entity-placement\" style=\"margin-top: 3px;margin-right: 3px;margin-bottom: 3px;margin-left: 3px;\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/vanessariley.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/05\/SubstackAd.png?fit=1080%2C1350&#038;ssl=1\" alt=\"Listen to the Write of Passage Weekly Podcast\"  srcset=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/vanessariley.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/05\/SubstackAd.png?w=1080&ssl=1 1080w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/vanessariley.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/05\/SubstackAd.png?resize=240%2C300&ssl=1 240w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/vanessariley.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/05\/SubstackAd.png?resize=819%2C1024&ssl=1 819w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/vanessariley.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/05\/SubstackAd.png?resize=768%2C960&ssl=1 768w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 640px) 100vw, 640px\" width=\"540\" height=\"675\"   \/><\/div>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>The gift of hospitality shouldn\u2019t be dead. But if I\u2019m honest, I think in certain parts of the country, and in certain circles I\u2019ve moved through, it might be on life-support. I\u2019ve watched people forget how to say welcome to strangers. I\u2019ve seen other seem oblivious to making room at the table for others. This [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":6268,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[81,793,9,620,756,694],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-6267","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-personal-stories","category-politics","category-recommended-reading","category-syndication","category-technology","category-tv-and-film"],"aioseo_notices":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/vanessariley.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/11\/4428216e50de07efc2648ae87e2717e9.jpg?fit=1280%2C720&ssl=1","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/vanessariley.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6267","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/vanessariley.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/vanessariley.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/vanessariley.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/vanessariley.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=6267"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/vanessariley.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6267\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/vanessariley.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/6268"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/vanessariley.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=6267"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/vanessariley.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=6267"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/vanessariley.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=6267"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}