{"id":6239,"date":"2025-09-02T13:10:00","date_gmt":"2025-09-02T13:10:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/vanessariley.com\/blog\/2025\/09\/02\/write-of-passage-who-are-you-checking-on\/"},"modified":"2025-09-02T13:10:00","modified_gmt":"2025-09-02T13:10:00","slug":"write-of-passage-who-are-you-checking-on","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/vanessariley.com\/blog\/2025\/09\/02\/write-of-passage-who-are-you-checking-on\/","title":{"rendered":"Write of Passage: Who Are You Checking On"},"content":{"rendered":"<!--[if lt IE 9]><script>document.createElement('audio');<\/script><![endif]-->\n<audio class=\"wp-audio-shortcode\" id=\"audio-6239-1\" preload=\"none\" style=\"width: 100%;\" controls=\"controls\"><source type=\"audio\/mpeg\" src=\"https:\/\/api.substack.com\/feed\/podcast\/172545945\/3ed7ed3eb14ad79b4a5ec1b6da66bb07.mp3?_=1\" \/><a href=\"https:\/\/api.substack.com\/feed\/podcast\/172545945\/3ed7ed3eb14ad79b4a5ec1b6da66bb07.mp3\">https:\/\/api.substack.com\/feed\/podcast\/172545945\/3ed7ed3eb14ad79b4a5ec1b6da66bb07.mp3<\/a><\/audio>\n<p><strong>I spent Labor Day eve with my family. It was great catching up\u2014finding out how everyone\u2019s doing, whether they got the job they wanted, how things are going at work, how far they\u2019ve come toward their goals. We talked about houses, kids, fences\u2014life. It felt good to just soak in family.<\/strong><\/p><div id=\"vanes-3163170973\" class=\"vanes-content vanes-entity-placement\" style=\"margin-top: 2px;margin-right: 2px;margin-bottom: 2px;margin-left: 2px;\"><a href=\"https:\/\/vanessariley.com\/fireswordandsea.htm\" aria-label=\"Fire Sword &amp; Sea\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/vanessariley.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/05\/FireSwordSea_HC-scaled.jpg?fit=1706%2C2560&#038;ssl=1\" alt=\"Fire Sword &amp; Sea\"  srcset=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/vanessariley.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/05\/FireSwordSea_HC-scaled.jpg?w=1706&ssl=1 1706w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/vanessariley.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/05\/FireSwordSea_HC-scaled.jpg?resize=200%2C300&ssl=1 200w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/vanessariley.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/05\/FireSwordSea_HC-scaled.jpg?resize=683%2C1024&ssl=1 683w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/vanessariley.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/05\/FireSwordSea_HC-scaled.jpg?resize=768%2C1152&ssl=1 768w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/vanessariley.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/05\/FireSwordSea_HC-scaled.jpg?resize=1024%2C1536&ssl=1 1024w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/vanessariley.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/05\/FireSwordSea_HC-scaled.jpg?resize=1365%2C2048&ssl=1 1365w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/vanessariley.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/05\/FireSwordSea_HC-scaled.jpg?w=1280&ssl=1 1280w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 640px) 100vw, 640px\" width=\"569\" height=\"853\"   \/><\/a><\/div>\n<p><strong>The pandemic robbed us of something priceless: time spent seeing and being part of each other\u2019s lives. And I\u2019ll be honest; I internalized that separation. I grew incredibly comfortable in my own home. Never leaving my zoom or desktop computer, I am happy working, wrapped up in the fantasy world of the books I write. I call myself an introverted extrovert\u2014or maybe an extroverted introvert. Put me on a stage with a mic, and I\u2019ll light up. I will beam with energy and exhibit such showmanship.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>But catch me at home with a hazelnut latte in one hand, a phone to scroll in the other, wearing my robe, bonnet, and slippers, I\u2019m happy. And in the dead of night, I\u2019ll find peace listening to a book or watching a cooking show. Right now, I\u2019m get happy watching, With Love Megan. The show is warm and comfortable. Meghan is gorgeous and thoughtful. She shows us aspirational bits of the soft life, and I think we all want it. I dream of being the hostess who can make her guest feel comfortable light up with a simple gesture that shows she\u2019s thinking about them. I love the idea of small gestures. I like the list of new foods that I\u2019ll try to make, including slow cooker apple butter. If you know me, I am a slow cooker girl. I can do real damage with any one of the many slow cookers or crockpots I own.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>Back to the point. My crockpots are inside. I love to cook for people inside. Being inside, that kind of comfort is seductive. And it can trick us into forgetting that life is happening beyond the TV and Kitchen, right outside our doors. Life is out there. People are laughing, crying, hurting, losing, winning\u2014all outside our walls. And it\u2019s worth checking in on people in all those moments.<\/strong><\/p>\n<\/p>\n<p><strong>Then Monday, I stopped by The Book Worm Bookstore in Powder Springs to check on Julia, my friend and the wonderful bookstore\u2019s owner. She\u2019s juggling so much right now\u2014staff changes, city ordinances, personal losses.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong> It felt good to laugh with her, to commiserate, to talk about challenges in the book industry and to admire the many beautiful books on the shelves. Inside her store, there\u2019s joy and love. But outside her walls, businesses are shuttered, city plans are in flux, and simple things like parking become a battles.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>It reminds me that every business, every shopfront, has real people inside\u2014living, breathing, working hard to create a life they love. They are under threat by higher costs and by the changing ways Americans work and live. Change that may have taken decades is here now. Without safety nets, folks are waking up to layoffs and losses of resources. I told you recently about AI infiltrating the family group text. Well, AI is taking entry level jobs, software programming jobs and more. In eight months things shifted, they are not going to shift back. These disruptions means, we need to check on each other more than ever.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>If you\u2019re not inclined to drive to a golf course to hang out or to throw a huge dinner for folks to come and sit a spell, you can find other ways to check in. The group text is a great way. Checking in can be a morning prayer, a parable of encouragement, or even sending Instagram reels back and forth. A funny reel says, <\/strong><strong><em>\u201cI wanted to make you laugh today.\u201d<\/em><\/strong><strong> An encouraging one says, <\/strong><strong><em>\u201cYou matter to me. I thought about you.\u201d<\/em><\/strong><strong> A messy one says, \u201cI\u2019m messy and you are too.\u201d That doesn\u2019t take much time\u2014just a couple minutes\u2014but it can mean everything.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>As we head toward fall, winter, and even the end of the year, I feel very reflective. And I\u2019m not blind to the pain and uncertainty all around us. People are hurting. Some are failing. The struggle is very real. Which makes checking in even more important.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>I don\u2019t want to be so busy that I forget the people around me. I don\u2019t want to lose empathy. And yes, I still wrestle with it\u2014for people, for systems, for situations that caused harm. On social media, I see rumors and chaos, and I understand the temptation to root for that chaos, but we need to resist. We can\u2019t lose our humanity.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>We have to believe in our better angels. We must hold onto the faith that this too shall pass\u2014whether or not we\u2019re doomscrolling through the night. And while we wait for brighter days, we can do the simplest, most powerful thing: check in. Send the note. Make the call. Get out the house. Share a belly-rocking laugh. Love out loud.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>When we check on each other, we remind ourselves\u2014and the world\u2014that we are in this race together. And we need to pull up those close to us, so we can all win.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>This week, I picked a few books to help ups check in:<\/p>\n<p><a target=\"_blank\" href=\"https:\/\/bookshop.org\/p\/books\/big-friendship-how-we-keep-each-other-close-ann-friedman\/15495370?ean=9781982111915&amp;next=t\">Big Friendship: How We Keep Each Other Close<\/a><a target=\"_blank\" href=\"https:\/\/bookshop.org\/p\/books\/big-friendship-how-we-keep-each-other-close-ann-friedman\/15495370?ean=9781982111915&amp;next=t\"><strong> <\/strong><\/a><strong>by Aminatou Sow and Ann Friedman \u2014 This book focuses on the work and joy of sustaining deep friendships.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><a target=\"_blank\" href=\"https:\/\/bookshop.org\/p\/books\/the-light-we-carry-overcoming-in-uncertain-times-michelle-obama\/18603204?ean=9780593237489&amp;next=t\">The Light We Carry<\/a><a target=\"_blank\" href=\"https:\/\/bookshop.org\/p\/books\/the-light-we-carry-overcoming-in-uncertain-times-michelle-obama\/18603204?ean=9780593237489&amp;next=t\"><strong> <\/strong><\/a><strong>by Michelle Obama \u2014 This book showcases resilience, community, and holding onto hope in difficult times.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><a target=\"_blank\" href=\"https:\/\/bookshop.org\/p\/books\/an-american-marriage-oprah-s-book-club-tayari-jones\/11456907?ean=9781616208684&amp;next=t\">An American Marriage<\/a><a target=\"_blank\" href=\"https:\/\/bookshop.org\/p\/books\/an-american-marriage-oprah-s-book-club-tayari-jones\/11456907?ean=9781616208684&amp;next=t\"><strong> <\/strong><\/a><strong>by Tayari Jones \u2014This work of fiction explores family, separation, resilience, and the bonds that keep us checking on each other even in hard times.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><a target=\"_blank\" href=\"https:\/\/bookshop.org\/p\/books\/between-two-kingdoms-a-memoir-of-a-life-interrupted-suleika-jaouad\/11375409?ean=9780399588600&amp;next=t\">Between Two Kingdoms<\/a><a target=\"_blank\" href=\"https:\/\/bookshop.org\/p\/books\/between-two-kingdoms-a-memoir-of-a-life-interrupted-suleika-jaouad\/11375409?ean=9780399588600&amp;next=t\"><strong> <\/strong><\/a><strong>by Suleika Jaouad \u2014 This memoir offer reflections on illness, survival, and rediscovering connection after isolation.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>This week, I&#8217;m highlighting <\/strong><a target=\"_blank\" href=\"https:\/\/bookshop.org\/shop\/shopthebookworm\"><strong>The Book Worm <\/strong><\/a><strong>through their website and <\/strong><a target=\"_blank\" href=\"https:\/\/bookshop.org\/shop\/shopthebookworm\"><strong>Bookshop.org<\/strong><\/a><\/p>\n<p><strong>The preorder campaign has begun, get collector cards for pirates in <\/strong><a target=\"_blank\" href=\"https:\/\/vanessariley.com\/fireswordandsea.htm\"><strong>Fire Sword and Sea<\/strong><\/a><strong>\u2014Help me build momentum for this historical fiction. Please spread the word and preorder this disruptive narrative about lady pirates in the 1600s. This sweeping saga releases January 13, 2026. The link on my website shows retailers that are in on the campaign. Get the collector cards while supplies last.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>You can find my notes on Substack or on my website, <\/strong><a target=\"_blank\" href=\"https:\/\/www.vanessariley.com\/\"><strong>VanessaRiley.com<\/strong><\/a><strong> under the podcast link in the About tab.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>Enjoying the vibe? Go ahead and like this episode and subscribe to <\/strong><strong><em>Write of Passage<\/em><\/strong><strong> so you never miss a moment.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>Thank you for listening. Hopefully, you\u2019ll come again. This is Vanessa Riley.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>This is a public episode. If you&#8217;d like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit <a href=\"https:\/\/vanessariley.substack.com\/subscribe?utm_medium=podcast&amp;utm_campaign=CTA_2\">vanessariley.substack.com\/subscribe<\/a><\/p>\n<div id=\"vanes-224540202\" class=\"vanes-after-content vanes-entity-placement\" style=\"margin-top: 3px;margin-right: 3px;margin-bottom: 3px;margin-left: 3px;\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/vanessariley.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/05\/SubstackAd.png?fit=1080%2C1350&#038;ssl=1\" alt=\"Listen to the Write of Passage Weekly Podcast\"  srcset=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/vanessariley.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/05\/SubstackAd.png?w=1080&ssl=1 1080w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/vanessariley.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/05\/SubstackAd.png?resize=240%2C300&ssl=1 240w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/vanessariley.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/05\/SubstackAd.png?resize=819%2C1024&ssl=1 819w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/vanessariley.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/05\/SubstackAd.png?resize=768%2C960&ssl=1 768w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 640px) 100vw, 640px\" width=\"540\" height=\"675\"   \/><\/div>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>I spent Labor Day eve with my family. It was great catching up\u2014finding out how everyone\u2019s doing, whether they got the job they wanted, how things are going at work, how far they\u2019ve come toward their goals. We talked about houses, kids, fences\u2014life. It felt good to just soak in family. The pandemic robbed us [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":6240,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[81,793,9,620,756,694],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-6239","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-personal-stories","category-politics","category-recommended-reading","category-syndication","category-technology","category-tv-and-film"],"aioseo_notices":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/vanessariley.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/09\/2c7eea2172ac81001b602a03f2a9088b.jpg?fit=1280%2C720&ssl=1","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/vanessariley.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6239","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/vanessariley.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/vanessariley.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/vanessariley.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/vanessariley.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=6239"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/vanessariley.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6239\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/vanessariley.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/6240"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/vanessariley.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=6239"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/vanessariley.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=6239"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/vanessariley.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=6239"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}