{"id":6183,"date":"2026-01-24T12:43:10","date_gmt":"2026-01-24T12:43:10","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/vanessariley.com\/blog\/2025\/04\/08\/write-of-passage-the-losing-season\/"},"modified":"2026-01-24T12:43:10","modified_gmt":"2026-01-24T12:43:10","slug":"write-of-passage-the-losing-season","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/vanessariley.com\/blog\/2026\/01\/24\/write-of-passage-the-losing-season\/","title":{"rendered":"Write of Passage: The Losing Season"},"content":{"rendered":"<!--[if lt IE 9]><script>document.createElement('audio');<\/script><![endif]-->\n<audio class=\"wp-audio-shortcode\" id=\"audio-6183-1\" preload=\"none\" style=\"width: 100%;\" controls=\"controls\"><source type=\"audio\/mpeg\" src=\"https:\/\/api.substack.com\/feed\/podcast\/160837777\/e32d9497ea39a9889a9546f377da5054.mp3?_=1\" \/><a href=\"https:\/\/api.substack.com\/feed\/podcast\/160837777\/e32d9497ea39a9889a9546f377da5054.mp3\">https:\/\/api.substack.com\/feed\/podcast\/160837777\/e32d9497ea39a9889a9546f377da5054.mp3<\/a><\/audio>\n<p>There comes a moment when the noise fades, the dust settles, and you look around and realize: this is a losing season. The signs are everywhere\u2014opportunities dried up, allies silent or absent, and the very ground that once felt firm beneath your feet feels like it\u2019s shifting. You blink and think, <em>how did I get here<\/em>?<\/p><div id=\"vanes-1916026095\" class=\"vanes-content vanes-entity-placement\" style=\"margin-top: 2px;margin-right: 2px;margin-bottom: 2px;margin-left: 2px;\"><a href=\"https:\/\/vanessariley.com\/fireswordandsea.htm\" aria-label=\"Fire Sword &amp; Sea\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/vanessariley.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/05\/FireSwordSea_HC-scaled.jpg?fit=1706%2C2560&#038;ssl=1\" alt=\"Fire Sword &amp; Sea\"  srcset=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/vanessariley.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/05\/FireSwordSea_HC-scaled.jpg?w=1706&ssl=1 1706w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/vanessariley.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/05\/FireSwordSea_HC-scaled.jpg?resize=200%2C300&ssl=1 200w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/vanessariley.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/05\/FireSwordSea_HC-scaled.jpg?resize=683%2C1024&ssl=1 683w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/vanessariley.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/05\/FireSwordSea_HC-scaled.jpg?resize=768%2C1152&ssl=1 768w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/vanessariley.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/05\/FireSwordSea_HC-scaled.jpg?resize=1024%2C1536&ssl=1 1024w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/vanessariley.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/05\/FireSwordSea_HC-scaled.jpg?resize=1365%2C2048&ssl=1 1365w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/vanessariley.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/05\/FireSwordSea_HC-scaled.jpg?w=1280&ssl=1 1280w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 640px) 100vw, 640px\" width=\"569\" height=\"853\"   \/><\/a><\/div>\n<p>                                                 Vanessa &#8211; Out of Coffee<\/p>\n<\/p>\n<p>I move through the world on a mission. It&#8217;s loud and clear in my heart: I\u2019m here to tell stories that center encouragement and empowerment\u2014especially for Black women. It\u2019s personal. I am a Black woman. And being one raised at the crossroads of cultures\u2014Caribbean roots, the Southern Baptist South, Irish threads in my lineage\u2014I bring a perspective that\u2019s richly textured. I\u2019m a history and STEM girly, someone who gets giddy over tech and deeply moved by stories of women surviving and thriving from the 1300s to WWII. I love the research, the smells, the taste of a scene, the sound of a woman\u2019s laughter echoing through centuries. And yet, in the middle of building, writing, pitching, and praying, I look up and realize I\u2019m in a losing season.<\/p>\n<p>The world right now is showing its cards. Political chaos runs rampant. Corporate agendas have eaten integrity for breakfast. The pressure to tell \u201cacceptable history\u201d rather than <em>true<\/em> history is real\u2014and exhausting. The DEI moment has slipped into quotas and checkboxes, and alleged allies are revealing their true motivations. Let me be real: some folks were only in the room for the optics.<\/p>\n<p><em>When someone shows you who they are, believe them.<\/em><em>When a door closes, let it remain closed.<\/em><em>If the house is on fire, get out and let it burn.<\/em><\/p>\n<p>That\u2019s not bitterness. That\u2019s wisdom earned through fiery flames.<\/p>\n<p>As a woman of faith, I know that even the losing seasons have purpose. There are times I ignored the signs and lost, getting smacked with fallout. And there are times I listened\u2014and for a moment blessings flowed like a river. Then the river ran dry.<\/p>\n<p>It\u2019s not always going to be a winning season. Sometimes, you lose. Sometimes, life kicks you in the teeth. And when it does, you have to ask yourself: <em>now what?<\/em><\/p>\n<p><strong>What Do You Do When You\u2019re in a Losing Season?<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>You grieve. You breathe. You pray.<\/p>\n<p>You let the rain come.<\/p>\n<p>Ecclesiastes 3:4 reminds us: <em>There\u2019s a time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance.<\/em>Nobody wants the weeping season. No one welcomes the mourning. But the rain is necessary\u2014it releases what\u2019s buried, nourishes what\u2019s growing, and reminds us, we are alive.<\/p>\n<p>                                  Find Ways to Retain Joy &#8211; Vanessa with her 26th book taking Car Selfies.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n<p>Losing hurts. It hurts to see people you trusted only stand beside you when it\u2019s trendy. It hurts to watch monuments scrub away Black contributions from the record, as if the Underground Railroad, War heroes erased from Arlington National Cemetery because of their sex or color or skin, and the countless other dark hands that built this country are inconveniences to a prettier story.<\/p>\n<p>Let me be clear: this is <em>all<\/em> American history\u2014Italian migrations, Haitians battling English troops for our freedom. All the Black, Brown, and White stories woven together belongs to all of us. Yet the only narratives being preserved are the ones that make people comfortable. The rest? We\u2019re told to erase, edit, or hide them. And if you\u2019re someone like me, someone who insists on telling the truth with love and power, you can find yourself cast out, put into a rough season where nothing sticks.<\/p>\n<p>But even here\u2014especially here\u2014there\u2019s still something to do. You regroup.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Hope and Regrouping<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Losing doesn\u2019t mean you stop. Losing is a pause. A reroute. A holy moment to reset.<\/p>\n<p>Stop chasing folks who never believed in you.Stop shrinking your truth to make others feel taller.You remember your mission.<\/p>\n<p>Yes, it\u2019s a lonely road when only 6% of the room looks like you. Yes, like-minded folks are rare, and genuine support can feel even rarer. But they <em>are<\/em> out there. I know that because I have readers and listeners who hear me\u2014who see me. That means the world.<\/p>\n<p>And so, we regroup with intention.<\/p>\n<p>We protect our joy.We sharpen our gifts.We build anyway.<\/p>\n<p>We prepare for the next season by shedding the expectations that no longer serve us. We speak truth\u2014the <em>whole<\/em> truth\u2014because the stories we tell now will shape the world we\u2019re leaving behind.<\/p>\n<p>I don\u2019t pretend to have it all figured out. I just know the losing season doesn\u2019t get the final word. The bumps and the lows on my path are birthing clarity. Resilience is being shaped, and I fall back on my faith and it brings me out of darkness to the sunshine.<\/p>\n<p><p>Vanessa Riley&#8217;s Write of Passage is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n<p>And when the rain stops, and the mourning shifts, we will dance again.<\/p>\n<p>Books to help you through your season are:<\/p>\n<p><a target=\"_blank\" href=\"https:\/\/bookshop.org\/p\/books\/rest-is-resistance-a-manifesto-tricia-hersey\/18255493?ean=9780316365215&#038;next=t\">Rest Is Resistance<\/a> by Tricia Hersey<\/p>\n<p>A radical, spiritual, and deeply empowering book about reclaiming rest as a tool of liberation.<\/p>\n<p><a target=\"_blank\" href=\"https:\/\/bookshop.org\/p\/books\/black-liturgies-prayers-poems-contemplation-cole-arthur-riley\/19997452?ean=9780593593646&#038;next=t\">Black Liturgies: Prayers, Poems, and Meditations for Staying Human<\/a> by Cole Arthur Riley<\/p>\n<p>A spiritual balm. Riley weaves faith and justice into meditations that feel like breathing in a storm.<\/p>\n<p><a target=\"_blank\" href=\"https:\/\/bookshop.org\/p\/books\/healing-the-soul-of-a-woman-lib-e-how-to-overcome-your-emotional-wounds-joyce-meyer\/18530177?ean=9781455560257&#038;next=t\">Healing the Soul of a Woman<\/a> by Joyce Meyer<\/p>\n<p>Meyer speaks candidly about trauma, emotional wounds, and how God works healing in the places we hide.<\/p>\n<p><a target=\"_blank\" href=\"https:\/\/bookshop.org\/p\/books\/island-queen-vanessa-riley\/15393680?ean=9780063002852&#038;next=t\">Island Queen<\/a> by Vanessa Riley<\/p>\n<p>A Caribbean woman\u2019s rise to power in a world that tried to crush her. It\u2019s history, empowerment, and a well researched novel.<\/p>\n<p><a target=\"_blank\" href=\"https:\/\/bookshop.org\/p\/books\/the-love-songs-of-w-e-b-du-bois-a-novel-honoree-fanonne-jeffers\/4fa1e442ebe323d2?ean=9780062942968&#038;next=t\">The Love Songs of W.E.B. Du Bois<\/a> by Honor\u00e9e Fanonne Jeffers<\/p>\n<p>A multigenerational epic that explores identity, belonging, and the burden and beauty of legacy.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Show notes include a list of the books mentioned in this broadcast. This week, I&#8217;m highlighting <\/strong><a target=\"_blank\" href=\"https:\/\/www.baldwinandcobooks.com\/\"><strong>Baldwin and Company<\/strong><\/a><strong> through <\/strong><a target=\"_blank\" href=\"https:\/\/bookshop.org\/shop\/baldwinandcompany\"><strong>Bookshop.org<\/strong><\/a><strong>. You can find my notes on Substack or on my website, <\/strong><a target=\"_blank\" href=\"https:\/\/www.vanessariley.com\/\"><strong>VanessaRiley.com<\/strong><\/a><strong> under the podcast link in the About tab.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>Thank you for listening. Hopefully, you\u2019ll come again. This is Vanessa Riley.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>This is a public episode. If you&#8217;d like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit <a href=\"https:\/\/vanessariley.substack.com\/subscribe?utm_medium=podcast&#038;utm_campaign=CTA_2\">vanessariley.substack.com\/subscribe<\/a><\/p>\n<p id=\"rop\"><small>Originally posted 2025-04-08 13:10:00. <\/small><\/p><div id=\"vanes-1323544412\" class=\"vanes-after-content vanes-entity-placement\" style=\"margin-top: 3px;margin-right: 3px;margin-bottom: 3px;margin-left: 3px;\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/vanessariley.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/05\/SubstackAd.png?fit=1080%2C1350&#038;ssl=1\" alt=\"Listen to the Write of Passage Weekly Podcast\"  srcset=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/vanessariley.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/05\/SubstackAd.png?w=1080&ssl=1 1080w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/vanessariley.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/05\/SubstackAd.png?resize=240%2C300&ssl=1 240w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/vanessariley.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/05\/SubstackAd.png?resize=819%2C1024&ssl=1 819w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/vanessariley.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/05\/SubstackAd.png?resize=768%2C960&ssl=1 768w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 640px) 100vw, 640px\" width=\"540\" height=\"675\"   \/><\/div>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>There comes a moment when the noise fades, the dust settles, and you look around and realize: this is a losing season. The signs are everywhere\u2014opportunities dried up, allies silent or absent, and the very ground that once felt firm beneath your feet feels like it\u2019s shifting. You blink and think, how did I get [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":6213,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[81,793,9,620,756,694],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-6183","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-personal-stories","category-politics","category-recommended-reading","category-syndication","category-technology","category-tv-and-film"],"aioseo_notices":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/vanessariley.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/04\/8564e1582b437dcf33cacc89b52c29f4-scaled.jpg?fit=1920%2C2560&ssl=1","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/vanessariley.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6183","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/vanessariley.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/vanessariley.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/vanessariley.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/vanessariley.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=6183"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/vanessariley.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6183\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/vanessariley.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/6213"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/vanessariley.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=6183"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/vanessariley.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=6183"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/vanessariley.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=6183"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}