{"id":6181,"date":"2026-02-09T04:22:47","date_gmt":"2026-02-09T04:22:47","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/vanessariley.com\/blog\/2025\/04\/22\/write-of-passage-a-sinners-prayer\/"},"modified":"2026-02-09T04:22:47","modified_gmt":"2026-02-09T04:22:47","slug":"write-of-passage-a-sinners-prayer","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/vanessariley.com\/blog\/2026\/02\/09\/write-of-passage-a-sinners-prayer\/","title":{"rendered":"Write of Passage: A Sinner\u2019s Prayer"},"content":{"rendered":"<!--[if lt IE 9]><script>document.createElement('audio');<\/script><![endif]-->\n<audio class=\"wp-audio-shortcode\" id=\"audio-6181-1\" preload=\"none\" style=\"width: 100%;\" controls=\"controls\"><source type=\"audio\/mpeg\" src=\"https:\/\/api.substack.com\/feed\/podcast\/161868825\/d5b74d6210ffe0021dc6708e7a4156b1.mp3?_=1\" \/><a href=\"https:\/\/api.substack.com\/feed\/podcast\/161868825\/d5b74d6210ffe0021dc6708e7a4156b1.mp3\">https:\/\/api.substack.com\/feed\/podcast\/161868825\/d5b74d6210ffe0021dc6708e7a4156b1.mp3<\/a><\/audio>\n<p>Last week was a weird one. The algorithms\u2014the bots\u2014seemed to come for me. Canva, of all places, led the charge. It made me feel like I wasn\u2019t just wrong in opinion, but wrong in essence. As if the characters I write\u2014rooted in history, full of breath and heart\u2014were somehow unworthy. Handcuff me now, because it felt like I was being told it was a crime to write them at all.<\/p><div id=\"vanes-1794372027\" class=\"vanes-content vanes-entity-placement\" style=\"margin-top: 2px;margin-right: 2px;margin-bottom: 2px;margin-left: 2px;\"><a href=\"https:\/\/vanessariley.com\/fireswordandsea.htm\" aria-label=\"Fire Sword &amp; Sea\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/vanessariley.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/05\/FireSwordSea_HC-scaled.jpg?fit=1706%2C2560&#038;ssl=1\" alt=\"Fire Sword &amp; Sea\"  srcset=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/vanessariley.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/05\/FireSwordSea_HC-scaled.jpg?w=1706&ssl=1 1706w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/vanessariley.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/05\/FireSwordSea_HC-scaled.jpg?resize=200%2C300&ssl=1 200w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/vanessariley.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/05\/FireSwordSea_HC-scaled.jpg?resize=683%2C1024&ssl=1 683w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/vanessariley.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/05\/FireSwordSea_HC-scaled.jpg?resize=768%2C1152&ssl=1 768w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/vanessariley.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/05\/FireSwordSea_HC-scaled.jpg?resize=1024%2C1536&ssl=1 1024w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/vanessariley.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/05\/FireSwordSea_HC-scaled.jpg?resize=1365%2C2048&ssl=1 1365w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/vanessariley.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/05\/FireSwordSea_HC-scaled.jpg?w=1280&ssl=1 1280w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 640px) 100vw, 640px\" width=\"569\" height=\"853\"   \/><\/a><\/div>\n<p>Caption: Two Scaredy-Cats watching the must see movie, Sinners.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n<p>And in this current climate? That kind of doubt sticks. There\u2019s so much anti-DEI noise. So much effort to \u201cprotect\u201d people from truth. Heaven forbid someone learns something. Heaven forbid someone dares to be better, more moral than their ancestors.<\/p>\n<p>I thought I\u2019d shaken it off. Thought I\u2019d moved on. I got back work on my manuscript and typed out another 6,000 words. Then came another note from Canva, gently suggesting I find another word\u2014something less &#8220;triggering&#8221;\u2014than \u201censlaved\u201d to describe Jacquotte of the upcoming Fire Sword and Sea, who had in fact was enslaved. So I turned to friends and asked them for other ways to phrase \u201censlavement.\u201d Here\u2019s what we came up with:<\/p>\n<p>* Bond servant<\/p>\n<p>* Stolen laborer<\/p>\n<p>* Forced job training<\/p>\n<p>* People in the condition of slavery<\/p>\n<p>* Held in captivity<\/p>\n<p>* Kidnapped<\/p>\n<p>And y\u2019all\u2014I laughed to keep from crying. Because all I could think of was: <em>Lord, have mercy.<\/em><\/p>\n<p>I might have sinned right then\u2014if not in word, then in thought. I wanted to cuss out the machine. I was disappointed in technology. That\u2019s a hard place to be for a data girl. Yet, I was more disappointed in me for even <em>entertaining<\/em> the idea of appeasing the bot\u2014the faceless, soulless thing that some biased, flawed, or agenda driven human had created and enabled it to think it knows what\u2019s best.<\/p>\n<p>Surrendering is not how we honor truth or the stories we\u2019re called to tell.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Let me take a moment to invite you to something special.<\/strong><em>Write of Passage<\/em><strong> is my little corner of the internet where I share thoughts on writing, storytelling, the ups and downs of life, and how we keep going\u2014even when the odds feel great. If that sounds like your speed, go ahead and hit the subscribe button. <\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>Welcome to the Write of Passage family. Now, back to the podcast.<\/strong><\/p>\n<\/p>\n<p>Fear is a seductive thing. It whispers: <em>Don\u2019t speak too loudly. Don\u2019t shine too brightly. Don\u2019t center stories on Black truth, Black joy, or Black progress.<\/em><\/p>\n<p>And lately, I\u2019ll admit\u2014it\u2019s been taking me longer to bounce back. It\u2019s getting harder to hold on to the vision of a brighter morning just ahead when everything feels handcuffed and ready to be jailed or deported.<\/p>\n<p>In the past forty-eight hours. The visuals that I allowed my eyes to see have been, stunning, heartbreaking, and even holy.<\/p>\n<p>On Easter Sunday, my church goes all out for a dramatization of the Crucification: lights, drama, music, the whole thing. But this year, there stood a Black Jesus\u2014bloodied, whipped, brutalized. It hit different, terrifyingly different. Then came Black Simon, stepping in to carry the cross, basically taking on his shoulders the oppressor\u2019s burden given to Jesus. I\u2019m watching it and something cracked, fracture into hundreds of pieces on the inside.<\/p>\n<p>It\u2019s been a long time since I cried in church. The first time was when I said the sinner\u2019s prayer and I admitted that I was scared and I needed salvation.<\/p>\n<p><em>Side note:<\/em> Did you know the \u201cSinner\u2019s Prayer\u201d doesn\u2019t actually appear anywhere in the Bible? There is no biblical record of anyone praying those exact words. It emerged around the Protestant Reformation and took shape in the early 20th century\u2014barely 125 years ago. For context, the Civil War officially ended 160 years ago. Both of those things are not that long ago.<\/p>\n<p>On Easter Monday, I saw <em>Sinners<\/em>\u2014the Ryan Coogler film with Michael B. Jordan, Wunmi Mosaku, Hailee Steinfeld, Li Jun Li, Miles Caton, and Delroy Lindo. On a gorgeous widescreen, I watched this emotionally rich tale saturated with period details and truths. Spoilers alert: Two brothers are seen watching the sunrise, just in awe of the majesty and their freedom. Then I focused on people dancing, singing, loving.<\/p>\n<p>Then comes destruction.<\/p>\n<p>The movie has all types of monsters. The obvious hate-filled men of the Klan, who are hungry for blood and money. Then monsters disguised as your own kind. The evil is often invited in. He feasts of fear and death.<\/p>\n<p>The violence didn\u2019t make me jump. The gore wasn\u2019t any worse than the makeup used at church for the crucifixion. Eventually, dread arrives. It settles in your chest. It steals all joy before the next morning can come. I found myself waiting for that other foot to fall, for when that bad was coming.<\/p>\n<p>So what does this all mean? Anticipating doom or consequence can be as draining as when the threats or violence comes. We can\u2019t surrender in advance.<\/p>\n<p>It means we must <strong>guard our eyes<\/strong>\u2014not to shield them from truth, but to make sure they still see beauty, even in chaos. Still see family. Still see hope.<\/p>\n<p>We must <strong>guard our ears<\/strong>\u2014because false praise can lull us into stillness. It can lie to us that we are safe and leave us vulnerable to brokenness. Yet we need music, sweet music, true music, ancestral rhythms. All can cut through the noise and remind us who we are, who we are striving to be.<\/p>\n<p>We must remember:<\/p>\n<p><strong>This little light of mine\u2026 I\u2019m gonna let it shine.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>A light can be seen.A light reveals what\u2019s nearest\u2014what needs our care.A light casts shadows, warning us of what\u2019s creeping in the distance.A light tells the truth of our circumstances. And it gives us the chance to see the true face of things lurking in the dark.<\/p>\n<p>So keep your light burning. That is your protection.Keep your voice strong. That is how you inspire hope.Then revel in each new day, letting your truth-telling, joy-making, world-building self be known.<\/p>\n<p>To help encourage your soul, try:<\/p>\n<p><a target=\"_blank\" href=\"https:\/\/bookshop.org\/p\/books\/call-us-what-we-carry-poems-amanda-gorman\/17377011?ean=9780593465066&#038;next=t\"><em>Call Us What We Carry<\/em><\/a> by Amanda Gorman \u2013 Poetry that engages with history, hope, and the responsibility of bearing witness.<\/p>\n<p><a target=\"_blank\" href=\"https:\/\/bookshop.org\/p\/books\/sula-toni-morrison\/18320994?ean=9781400033430&#038;next=t\"><em>Sula<\/em><\/a> by Toni Morrison \u2013 A meditation on Black womanhood, loyalty, and community through beautifully painful prose.<\/p>\n<p>And of course, go see <em>Sinners<\/em> in the movie theater. Watch creativity and inclusiveness on the widest screen you can find. Thank me later.<\/p>\n<p>The winners will be those who kept their light shining, who believed in truth. And who dared to cry out: <em>It\u2019s me. It\u2019s me, oh Lord, standing in the need of prayer.<\/em><\/p>\n<p>Darkness is real. We tend to invite into our life, our work, our sanctuaries.But remember dawn is also real. Dawn, I hear comes with new mercies, too. I pray we find them.<\/p>\n<p><strong>To be the first to know about Fire Sword and Sea, go to: <\/strong><a target=\"_blank\" href=\"https:\/\/bit.ly\/vrfiresword\"><strong><a href=\"https:\/\/bit.ly\/vrfiresword\" rel=\"nofollow\">https:\/\/bit.ly\/vrfiresword<\/a><\/strong><\/a><\/p>\n<p>Show notes include a list of the books mentioned in this broadcast. This week, I&#8217;m highlighting <a target=\"_blank\" href=\"https:\/\/www.thebookcellar.shop\/\">The Book Cellar <\/a>through their website and <a target=\"_blank\" href=\"https:\/\/bookshop.org\/shop\/thebookcellar\">Bookshop.org<\/a> You can find my notes on Substack or on my website, <a target=\"_blank\" href=\"https:\/\/www.vanessariley.com\/\">VanessaRiley.com<\/a> under the podcast link in the About tab.<\/p>\n<p>Help fight the bots by hitting like and continuing to share this podcast. You are essential to its growth.<\/p>\n<p>Thank you for listening. Hopefully, you\u2019ll come again. This is Vanessa Riley.<\/p>\n<p>This is a public episode. If you&#8217;d like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit <a href=\"https:\/\/vanessariley.substack.com\/subscribe?utm_medium=podcast&#038;utm_campaign=CTA_2\">vanessariley.substack.com\/subscribe<\/a><\/p>\n<p id=\"rop\"><small>Originally posted 2025-04-22 13:10:00. <\/small><\/p><div id=\"vanes-3156498573\" class=\"vanes-after-content vanes-entity-placement\" style=\"margin-top: 3px;margin-right: 3px;margin-bottom: 3px;margin-left: 3px;\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/vanessariley.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/05\/SubstackAd.png?fit=1080%2C1350&#038;ssl=1\" alt=\"Listen to the Write of Passage Weekly Podcast\"  srcset=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/vanessariley.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/05\/SubstackAd.png?w=1080&ssl=1 1080w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/vanessariley.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/05\/SubstackAd.png?resize=240%2C300&ssl=1 240w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/vanessariley.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/05\/SubstackAd.png?resize=819%2C1024&ssl=1 819w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/vanessariley.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/05\/SubstackAd.png?resize=768%2C960&ssl=1 768w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 640px) 100vw, 640px\" width=\"540\" height=\"675\"   \/><\/div>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Last week was a weird one. The algorithms\u2014the bots\u2014seemed to come for me. Canva, of all places, led the charge. It made me feel like I wasn\u2019t just wrong in opinion, but wrong in essence. As if the characters I write\u2014rooted in history, full of breath and heart\u2014were somehow unworthy. Handcuff me now, because it [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":6211,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[81,793,9,620,756,694],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-6181","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-personal-stories","category-politics","category-recommended-reading","category-syndication","category-technology","category-tv-and-film"],"aioseo_notices":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/vanessariley.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/04\/dff36c51463dc532cbf486cd750accf0.jpg?fit=2003%2C2504&ssl=1","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/vanessariley.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6181","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/vanessariley.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/vanessariley.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/vanessariley.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/vanessariley.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=6181"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/vanessariley.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6181\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/vanessariley.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/6211"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/vanessariley.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=6181"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/vanessariley.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=6181"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/vanessariley.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=6181"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}