{"id":6179,"date":"2026-02-23T20:49:23","date_gmt":"2026-02-23T20:49:23","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/vanessariley.com\/blog\/2025\/05\/06\/write-of-passage-its-hard-to-disconnect\/"},"modified":"2026-02-23T20:49:23","modified_gmt":"2026-02-23T20:49:23","slug":"write-of-passage-its-hard-to-disconnect","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/vanessariley.com\/blog\/2026\/02\/23\/write-of-passage-its-hard-to-disconnect\/","title":{"rendered":"Write of Passage: It\u2019s Hard to Disconnect"},"content":{"rendered":"<!--[if lt IE 9]><script>document.createElement('audio');<\/script><![endif]-->\n<audio class=\"wp-audio-shortcode\" id=\"audio-6179-1\" preload=\"none\" style=\"width: 100%;\" controls=\"controls\"><source type=\"audio\/mpeg\" src=\"https:\/\/api.substack.com\/feed\/podcast\/162954467\/ea90fe2a87bef445902871e809d0e8d8.mp3?_=1\" \/><a href=\"https:\/\/api.substack.com\/feed\/podcast\/162954467\/ea90fe2a87bef445902871e809d0e8d8.mp3\">https:\/\/api.substack.com\/feed\/podcast\/162954467\/ea90fe2a87bef445902871e809d0e8d8.mp3<\/a><\/audio>\n<p><strong>To step away from my desk, from writing, usually takes intention\u2014an obligation, an appointment, an event.<\/strong><\/p><div id=\"vanes-3868764066\" class=\"vanes-content vanes-entity-placement\" style=\"margin-top: 2px;margin-right: 2px;margin-bottom: 2px;margin-left: 2px;\"><a href=\"https:\/\/vanessariley.com\/fireswordandsea.htm\" aria-label=\"Fire Sword &amp; Sea\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/vanessariley.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/05\/FireSwordSea_HC-scaled.jpg?fit=1706%2C2560&#038;ssl=1\" alt=\"Fire Sword &amp; Sea\"  srcset=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/vanessariley.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/05\/FireSwordSea_HC-scaled.jpg?w=1706&ssl=1 1706w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/vanessariley.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/05\/FireSwordSea_HC-scaled.jpg?resize=200%2C300&ssl=1 200w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/vanessariley.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/05\/FireSwordSea_HC-scaled.jpg?resize=683%2C1024&ssl=1 683w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/vanessariley.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/05\/FireSwordSea_HC-scaled.jpg?resize=768%2C1152&ssl=1 768w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/vanessariley.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/05\/FireSwordSea_HC-scaled.jpg?resize=1024%2C1536&ssl=1 1024w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/vanessariley.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/05\/FireSwordSea_HC-scaled.jpg?resize=1365%2C2048&ssl=1 1365w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/vanessariley.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/05\/FireSwordSea_HC-scaled.jpg?w=1280&ssl=1 1280w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 640px) 100vw, 640px\" width=\"569\" height=\"853\"   \/><\/a><\/div>\n<p><strong>But this weekend, instead of rushing back to my hotel room to work, I took a walk in the city that never sleeps<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>New York City is magic. The lights and screens can mesmerize for hours. The hustlers are everywhere, each chasing their own dream with a specific kind of determination. I melted into the crowd\u2014a sea of people, heads tilted down, grimaces in place, walking like they\u2019re late to a very important date.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>And yet, as I shuffled forward, I walked with purpose. Certain of my own hustle. Certain that, like the waves of moving feet around me, I\u2019m going somewhere important.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>Even though these times feel tense and nerve-wracking, <\/strong><strong><em>this too shall fade.<\/em><\/strong><strong> The question is: Who will you be when revival comes?<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>I suggest you should be out walking. Walking to your own tune. Strolling between memory lane and adventure street.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>We can\u2019t let depression and deadlines keep us trapped on a treadmill to nowhere. We need to be out, moving, seeing the sights, meeting the moment head-on.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>Downtown New York. Times Square\u2014it\u2019s still vibrant, still electric with people, places, and possibility. One of the places I wandered off to was Broadway. I scraped up pennies and last minute tickets to take in a Broadway Show. My daughter and I caught Gypsy.<\/strong><\/p>\n<\/p>\n<p><strong><em>Gypsy<\/em><\/strong><strong>\u2014the revival\u2014is based on the memoirs of burlesque star Gypsy Rose Lee. Originally adapted by Arthur Laurents, with music by Jule Styne and lyrics by Stephen Sondheim, the show first hit Broadway in 1959.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong><em>Gypsy<\/em><\/strong><strong> follows the struggles of a showbiz mother, Rose, and her two daughters: the sweet, spotlighted June and the awkward Louise. Rose devotes her life to making them stars in a vaudeville world that\u2019s fading fast.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>Rose is the ultimate dreamer\u2014the pushiest of mothers, hell-bent on creating success in a season that\u2019s disappearing as quickly as a stripper\u2019s costume.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong><em>Gypsy\u2014the <\/em><\/strong><strong>cast, the costumes\u2014and especially Audra McDonald\u2014blew us away.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>Six-time Tony Award winner, now the most-nominated performer in theater history, Audra stepped into the iconic shoes of Momma Rose\u2014a role made legendary by Ethel Merman, Angela Lansbury, Patti LuPone. And she did it with poise, passion, and a voice that reached the heavens.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>For the first time, Rose and her daughters are being played by Black women.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>And it feels right.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>After all, I grew up with a Mama Rose of my own\u2014down South, with big dreams and high expectations. She had color, attitude, ambition, and love. All of that minus the Gypsy Rose stripping.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>And in the legendary Majestic Theatre, we, my daughter and I, took in the chandeliers, the molding, the velvet drapery. The lights dimmed. The orchestra began. And we were swept away\u2014into songs we half-remembered, dances we instinctively tapped to, that wonder that fills you when you let the noise fall away and become part of the show.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>This was my daughter first show and she loved every moment.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>And sadly, if one doesn\u2019t count off-Broadway shows and church basement productions, this viewing was my first too. I loved it but it\u2019s bittersweet to think of the moments I missed because I chose a different, probably work related path.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>And yet I refuse to beat myself up on the Shoulda, would\u2019ve could\u2019ves that befall us. I went with my daughter now. That\u2019s what matters. And as we left we hummed:<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>Together, Wherever We Go<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong><em>Wherever we go, whatever we do,<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong><em>We\u2019re gonna go through it together.<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong><em>We may not go far, but sure as a star,<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong><em>Wherever we are, we\u2019re stronger together.<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong><em>I tweak the lyrics. What can I say, but I\u2019m a writer.<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>Everything\u2019s Coming Up Roses<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong><em>I had a dream, a wonderful dream about you.<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong><em>It\u2019s gonna come true.<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong><em>They think that we\u2019re through, but\u2026<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong><em>Nothing\u2019s gonna stop us \u2018til we\u2019re through!<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong><em>Everything\u2019s coming up roses for me and for you!<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>And now, as I sit on this plane, writing to you, my weekly essay, I hope I\u2019ve passed on something else too.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>That it\u2019s okay to take a walk.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>That it\u2019s okay to step away from duty, from deadlines, from stress\u2014even just for a few minutes.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>That rest and joy are worth chasing just as hard as success.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>That it\u2019s okay to fail, as long as we keep dreaming.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>My hope is that we all learn to capture that feeling\u2014that joy of being lost in the moment. Of humming. Of strumming our fingers to the rhythm of wonder. Of letting the songs in our soul rise again\u2014when we take care of ourselves.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>Even if it\u2019s just with a little walk.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>Books that can help you disconnect in meaningful ways are:<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><a target=\"_blank\" href=\"https:\/\/bookmarksnc.org\/book\/9780544334618\"><strong>Fosse <\/strong><\/a><strong>by Sam Wasson<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>A sweeping biography of Bob Fosse that explores the grind, passion, and price of perfection in the performing arts.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><a target=\"_blank\" href=\"https:\/\/bookmarksnc.org\/book\/9780061246609\"><strong>The Women Who Raised Me<\/strong><\/a><strong> by Victoria Rowell<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>Memoir of a actress raised by foster mothers\u2014explores nontraditional maternal love, ambition, and support.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><a target=\"_blank\" href=\"https:\/\/bookmarksnc.org\/book\/9780060959470\"><strong>All About Love<\/strong><\/a><strong> by bell hooks<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>This book is about love\u2014for yourself , your children, your lives. This book is the emotional underpinning to a loving journey.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><a target=\"_blank\" href=\"https:\/\/bookmarksnc.org\/book\/9780316365215\"><strong>Rest Is Resistance: A Manifesto<\/strong><\/a><strong> by Tricia Hersey<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>Talks about rest as a form of liberation, especially for Black women.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>Listen to the album, Sing Happy by Audra McDonald and the NewYork Philharmonic<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>Show notes include a list of the books mentioned in this broadcast. This week, I&#8217;m highlighting <\/strong><a target=\"_blank\" href=\"https:\/\/bookmarksnc.org\"><strong>Bookmarks NC<\/strong><\/a><a target=\"_blank\" href=\"https:\/\/www.eastcitybookshop.com\/\"><strong> <\/strong><\/a><strong>through their website and <\/strong><a target=\"_blank\" href=\"https:\/\/bookshop.org\/shop\/bookmarksnc\"><strong>Bookshop.org<\/strong><\/a><\/p>\n<p><strong>You can find my notes on Substack or on my website, <\/strong><a target=\"_blank\" href=\"https:\/\/www.vanessariley.com\/\"><strong>VanessaRiley.com<\/strong><\/a><strong> under the podcast link in the About tab.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>Let&#8217;s keep resting and rising together\u2014please like, subscribe to stay connected to <\/strong><strong><em>Write of Passage<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>Thank you for listening. Hopefully, you\u2019ll come again. This is Vanessa Riley.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>This is a public episode. If you&#8217;d like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit <a href=\"https:\/\/vanessariley.substack.com\/subscribe?utm_medium=podcast&#038;utm_campaign=CTA_2\">vanessariley.substack.com\/subscribe<\/a><\/p>\n<p id=\"rop\"><small>Originally posted 2025-05-06 13:10:00. <\/small><\/p><div id=\"vanes-1502600818\" class=\"vanes-after-content vanes-entity-placement\" style=\"margin-top: 3px;margin-right: 3px;margin-bottom: 3px;margin-left: 3px;\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/vanessariley.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/05\/SubstackAd.png?fit=1080%2C1350&#038;ssl=1\" alt=\"Listen to the Write of Passage Weekly Podcast\"  srcset=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/vanessariley.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/05\/SubstackAd.png?w=1080&ssl=1 1080w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/vanessariley.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/05\/SubstackAd.png?resize=240%2C300&ssl=1 240w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/vanessariley.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/05\/SubstackAd.png?resize=819%2C1024&ssl=1 819w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/vanessariley.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/05\/SubstackAd.png?resize=768%2C960&ssl=1 768w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 640px) 100vw, 640px\" width=\"540\" height=\"675\"   \/><\/div>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>To step away from my desk, from writing, usually takes intention\u2014an obligation, an appointment, an event. But this weekend, instead of rushing back to my hotel room to work, I took a walk in the city that never sleeps . New York City is magic. The lights and screens can mesmerize for hours. The hustlers [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":6210,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[81,793,9,620,756,694],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-6179","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-personal-stories","category-politics","category-recommended-reading","category-syndication","category-technology","category-tv-and-film"],"aioseo_notices":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/vanessariley.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/05\/9c2f3ceee4fae8869f668ae0fd6e6295-scaled.jpg?fit=1920%2C2560&ssl=1","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/vanessariley.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6179","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/vanessariley.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/vanessariley.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/vanessariley.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/vanessariley.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=6179"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/vanessariley.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6179\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/vanessariley.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/6210"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/vanessariley.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=6179"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/vanessariley.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=6179"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/vanessariley.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=6179"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}